


Baby please don't leave me

by Hetaliafan2000



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alfred and Arthur to the rescue, Alfred your going to get pucked on, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And have no point to be in here except as a background character, And most would call Emil a punk, Arthur is slowly going to mother Iceland, Arthur probably sees a little of himself in Emil, Arthur was a punk, At some point characters are mentioned but not really in here, Author regrets slow update, I explain, I should probably tage this as slow burn, Iceland is in love with boots, Iceland knows how to play the guitar, Its a Thing, Like A Lot A Lot, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Metions of drugs, Multi, Nyotalia, Oh No Emil's sick, Oops, Other, You Dumb Dumb, also bad coping methods, and almost rape, and has a lot of them, and suicide. Warning are in chapters for it so read at own risk really, and use of drugs, he just doesn't show it much, more characters are to come, only he is acutually a dork, punk!Iceland, scandinavia is an oc, so theres that, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 37,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hetaliafan2000/pseuds/Hetaliafan2000
Summary: Emil didn't want to be here, not in this country, not in this house, and not in this school. but here is his and he cant change it. but maybe that cute blonde kid that sits in front of him will change his mind. follow Emil as he tries to get through school, a crush(because that's what it is) and meeting up with old ex? uh oh.





	1. Welcome to America Emil.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter updates may be slow but i hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Names  
> Mathias: Denmark  
> Lukas: Norway  
> Berwald: Sweden  
> Tina: Female Finland  
> Endride: Oc Scandinavia  
> Emil: Iceland  
> Lilly: Liechtenstein  
> Vash: Switzerland

Anyone that looked at him would be able to tell that he was mad. Maybe it was the cold face that he had, even though half of it was covered by black sunglasses. It could also be that little movement showed that he wanted to be anywhere but here, in this crowded airport. 

It could also be the way he was dressed in black skin tight jeans and had laced up white high heeled boots that hugged his legs until they ended just under his knees. Either way it was clear that he didn't want to be here and he wanted to show that.

He sighed looking around before looking down at his phone to check the time. They were either late or just not coming. The they he was talking about was his oh so loving father, the great big brother he had and the puppy that was his half brother. 

Truthfully he didn't really have a problem with his half brother, or at least no more than he did his father and brother, but there was just some things that you never get over. And Emil didn't think he would ever get over those months that it took for the divorce to go through.

He looked up when he heard his name being yelled. Then he felt dread well up in him as he saw Mathias, who stood out in the sea of people wearing suits in his black jeans, red hoodie, and his bright blonde hair that didn't know what gravity was, waving his hands all around grinning and looking straight at him. He had to spend who knows how long with this god damn puppy, and know doubt the others were going to be just like him, or worse.

Thankfully it looked like the others weren't here so he wouldn't want to kill himself in public. Walking over he made sure he had everything, his two bags and his guitar, and hissed at his half brother, “Will you stop that, you are so embarrassing for a twenty three year old.”

While Mathias didn't stop grinning he did stop waving his arms around, to give him a hug. It was crushing, like one would expect from a mother who was seeing her son or daughter after years of them being on a war front. Emil was pressed against Mathias and was so uncomfortable it wasn't even funny, his sunglasses were crooked and painfully pressed against his face. 

As Emil was trying to get away from Mathias, Mathias was yelling in his ear, “Hi Emil! Wow you have grown up from seven years old. Man I can't wait for Lukas and dad to see you they will be so shocked!”

Emil mumbled a sarcastic “can't wait” as he pushed away from Mathias. Finally being let go, he fixed his clothing and sunglasses, and thew a dirty look at Mathias. 

“Can we just go, I want to be out of here as soon as possible,” he said, after he made sure he was a good distance away from Mathias’ hugs.

Mathias grinned and lead him to the door that lead outside. He apparently remembered that Emil was an albino because he stepped out first and open up an umbrella that he hadn't noticed when he was getting attacked by hugs. The grin that Mathias aimed at him as he handed the umbrella to him made Emil forgive him just a little bit, after all he couldn't hate someone that remembered that he was sensitive to the sun even though it's been almost ten years since he last saw Mathias.

When they got to the car, a dark red that shined in the sun, Mathias opened up the trunk and helped put the bags in while Emil put his case in back wanting to keep an eye on it. Then they both got in and made themselves comfortable. 

The inside of the car was surprisingly clean, he would have thought that Mathias let his car get dirty and wouldn't have bothered to clean it up, he was wrong apparently. The sets were black leather and were firm when he sat in them. It was a nice car all together, and Emil was pleasantly surprised.

“Better to get comfortable, and make sure you are buckled, it's going to be a long ride for you, if you aren't use to four hour rides. Don't worry though, I can play music or you can nap.”

Emil simply shrugged and put his feet on the seat, putting his earphones in and making sure the hood on his jacket was covering him. Mathias didn't say anything to his silence, just turned the car on and carefully backed out of the parking place. 

 

Like Mathias said it would be long to someone who want use to four hour rides. It was fine for him because when he was fifteen he had convinced the cute Swiss transfer student to go on a roadtrip across the island when the summer had hit. They had spent a whole month just them and his sister, who he wouldn't leave in the small apartment by herself which was fine for him because she was a cutie too just more innocent, and they would spend hours of the day in the car. 

Of course it was also true for the nights, sometimes they were so far out that there wasn't any place to stay for the night, so they would lay the passenger seat all the way down, as far as they could get it to go with all their stuff, and have Lilly, his cute Swiss's sister, have that as a makeshift bed. Then they would spend the night hours in the roof taking turns sleeping, and when neither of them were sleeping they simply admire the night sky and talk.

However like all things it had to end, so they drove back and Emil said goodbye to them at the airport as the boarded the plane. Then he spent the rest of the summer doing what he always did, party and sleep and just try to have fun, and ignore his oh so caring mother when she was there.

Anyway Emil ended up falling asleep the first hour of the dive, then when he woke up there was a soft pale silver blanket over him, that he was so stealing because holy shit it was soft, and they were just pulling into a driveway. He uncurled himself and laid his feet down onto the floor. He looked out the window and saw a wild garden full of plants and flowers, they were in front of what looked like a three story house. 

Mathias looked at him and smiled, handing Emil the umbrella he said, “Just in time, we are home, it looks like dad and Lukas aren't here yet but I can still show you around the house and get you something to eat if you want.”

Emil was still blinking the sleep out of his eyes but he nodded at Mathias and got out of the car, making sure to get his guitar case and grab the blanket. Mathias had the trunk open already and both of them grabbed a suitcase and headed for the porch. It took Mathias a minute to open up the door but when he did Emil was greeted to an empty house, just like Mathias predicted.

Walking in he saw he was in a living room. To the left there was a stair  
case that went up, and to the right was a couch that could fit at least three people. Along with that there was a couple of large chairs that could obviously lean back and looked soft enough to sleep in. There was also a large TV that was mounted to the wall in front of the couches and chairs, with a remote being on a glass coffee table in front of the TV.Connected to the living-room was the kitchen, there was no wall to separate the two rooms but it was quite obviously with the table and chairs being in front of marble counters and clean stove. 

Mathias shut the door behind them and started to show him around, making him leave his stuff there until the walked up the stairs. “So this is the living-room and that's the kitchen, dad has an office down here that way and there are stairs for the basement that way too. We keep things like unopened boxes of soda, cleaning supplies, and our washing and drying machine.”

Mathias lead him up stairs and started to point at doors, “The first one to out left is the bathroom, the one across from it is Lukas’s room. Then you got mine next to his, dads is next to mine, and across fro. That will be yours. One of my friends live here with his girlfriend and they got the room next to your, I hope you don't mind, they tend to not be here during the day, they are usually at work or school when its time to go, and so you will only see them at dinner time most likely.”

Emil nodded and walked towards what Mathias said was his room, looking in he saw that it had one window that had a curtain and blinds over it, so hardly any light come through. There was a bed that was against the wall to the right and a closet on the other side. He walked in a little more and set down his bag on the floor, Mathias doing the same before backing out to the door. 

“It's not much but we figured that you could decorate it how you wanted it when you go here. Dad wants to take you out to the hardware storey so you can pick out what color paint you want, heads up he is also going to make it a bonding activity for the four of us,” he shrugged and continued when Emil gave him a questioning look, “I figured it might be weird for you to suddenly spend time with us, so I figured that i would give you a warning.”

Emil eyed Mathias for a moment, before sitting on the bed. Looking around he said, “Thanks then, and this is fine.”

It was short but what do you say to someone you only meet almost ten years ago and only for a couple of weeks. Apparently Mathias could guess that he was having trouble because he didn't do anything except say, “Well if you need anything you can come ask me, I will be down stairs. If you are hungry we have lots of food and you can come down anytime.”

Emil nodded and watched as he walked out closing the door behind him. He sighed and flopped the rest of himself down on the bed and stored at the ceiling for a moment, then got up and took off his boots. He got back on the bed, putting his back to the wall and sat with his legs crossed simply thinking.

He knew that he had to spend the summer, or what was left seeing as there was only two and a half weeks left, and then he had to go to school. And since he promised his stepdad, who he got along with better then he did his mom and therefore tended to listen to him more then he did her, that he wouldn't drop out or get himself kicked out on purpose, he couldn't leave. Really he would give anything to be back home in the small apartment that her had had with mom and his step dad. But no he was here, in a country he didn't know, with people hadn't seen since he was seven, and so out of place in this obviously rich area it wasn't even funny.

He sighed again and slid to the side now laying down on the bed. Closing his eyes, he thought about a time where he didn't hurt as much as he drifted to sleep. 

 

 

He didn't go back home. He never made anyone angry enough to send him back, then again he never tried to, he didn’t see the point. He knew that should he get sent back he would have to find his own place to live, his mother made it very clear that should he get in enough trouble to get sent back, she didn't want to ever see him again. It had hurt, she was his mother but apparently that wouldn’t stop her from disowning him.

Anyway, when he work up again on that first day he walked down stairs after he put on his cute white ankle boots. When he put his foot on the finale step he was met with a rather warm welcome. Mathias was sitting on the couch and when Emil walked down he waved at him but otherwise didn't do anything. Besides him there were only two other people in the room,

One was a female that couldn't have been taller than he was when he was barefoot. She had short blond hair and pretty blue eyes. When she had looked at him she smiled and shook his hand in a tight grip. 

“Hello! You must be Emil, Mathias had said that he picked you up earlier. It's nice to meet you, my name is Tina Väinämöinen,” she said as she shook his hand. She then gestured to the other person in the room. “This is my boyfriend, Berwald Oxenstierna.”

Berwald was a man who had to be at least six foot. He had blonde hair and blue eyes that were covered by glasses. His face didn't show much emotion, but Emil could see it soften when he looked at Tina. Berwald shook his hand once with a hand shattering grip and a nod of his head, before he went back to cooking.

Just after introductions the front door opened. A man stepped in carrying bags of food and almost immediately Mathias and the others went to help. Having nothing to do, plus it was only polite, Emil went with them. 

The man called out, “Go get the other stuff from the trunk I got this,” before he walked past.

It only took one trip for them to get it all inside, everyone taking at least four bags. When they got them all in Emil let himself get directed on where the food went. Finally with everything put away, the man thanked them and got a good look at Emil.

Emil too got a good look. The man had bright white colored hair that couldn't seem to decide if it wanted to curl or spike out, causing each piece of hair to be different. He looked to be around Berwald’s height and was clearly muscular in the arms.

Staring at him, Emil only had the vaguest of an idea of who he was. But he knew by process of elimination that this was either his father or Lukas. And since last he knew Lukas never expected to be any higher than five foot ten, and no he didn't stalk his media account before he was sent here what were you talking about, it had to be his father, Endride Averyanov

Father looked at him with wide eyes, before he could say anything Emil was grabbed and pulled into a hug that was similar to the one Mathias had given him earlier. Emil huffed and wondered what it was with people that they just had to crush him. Was it a way to torment him? He didn’t know but he wanted it to stop.

When father finally let him go he put a couple of kisses on his forehead and lead him to one side of the couch. He then started asking questions like “What is you favorite color?”, and “What’s your favorite food?” it was endless and while he answered he was seriously thinking he should have just never came down. It didn’t help that Mathias was looking at him with amusement every few questions.

It was like that all through the night, but worse, because soon after the fiftieth question, his brother Lukas had walked through the door and started to ask questions of his own. The difference was that Lukas asked the more intruding questions. They were like “Do you have a girlfriend?”, or “No? What about a boyfriend?” It was awkward for him, and it appears that it was only him that was awkward.

It was after dinner that he escaped from the questions. He had yawned and Lukas and Endride immediately told him that he should go to bed, they had after all kept him up late with questions that they could ask tomorrow. As they lead him to the stairs Endride kept on saying how he was “So sorry for keeping him up.” 

Lukas just kept silent, and when he was about to go into his room, he surprised Emil with a hug. It was different from Mathias and Endride, this was less crushing and more holding, it reminded him of the ones that their mom would give. Tentatively he put his arms Lukas and hugged him back. Emil wasn’t use to giving hugs, the last hug he had given anyone was to his mom just after father, Lukas and Mathias left to go get on the plane.

Finally Emil put his arms back down and Lukas followed suit. He turned around and was going to go back down stairs before he turned towards Emil. “Welcome home little brother, it’s good that you are here,” he said before continuing back down stairs.

Emil stared at his back for a moment before he nodded to his father, who was standing right there and was watching him, and walked into his “room.” He slumped back against his door and sighed, was this going to continue all though his time here? God he hoped not. He didn’t think he could deal with it if it was.

The sun was down and the moon up so he walked towards the window and opened it. There was a small roof under it that lead to the bigger roof that was apart of the whole house. He put his foot on it then his other one and then he was outside. He carefully made his way over to the rest of the roof, when he was sure he wasn’t going to fall off because he had no room he sat down.

Sighing he laid on his back and looked at the stars. He wonder how everyone was, he wondered if Lilly was still being protected by Vash, probably. He wondered if mom was happy with him gone. He wondered about a lot of things, laying up there. He laid there till the sun looked like it was coming and and then he went inside. He fell on his bed and threw the covers on him and fell asleep for however long he could.

 

 

Like Mathias had said, when he woke up a few hours later and walked down in clean clothes and a different pair of boots, father had the whole day planned. He let Emil have breakfast and then they spent three hours picking out and buying paint and tools to use them. And when they got back to the house he had all four of them paint the room. 

Emil ended up picking a dark blue color for the wall and was going to keep the ceiling white. Endride had nodded and smiled, glad that he was participating in making his room well his. Emil didn’t have the heart to tell him that he wanted to be anywhere but here.

The painting took about four hours, and it was only the fact that Mathias was doing his best to make it not awkward that it didn’t pass by in silence. After the first few minutes of getting the room ready to paint he stop and went to his room and then came back. In his hands was a small radio he walked over to the window, which they had pinned up so the curtain wasn’t in their way of painting but still blocked the sun from coming in, and turned it on and turned it to some pop station.

After that as some recent singer’s song came on, they worked even as Mathias tried to get them to dance to the music as they painted. More often Lukas would roll his eyes and hip check Mathias out of his way, father would shake his head and do some old dance move that would have Mathias laugh. When Mathias tried to get him to dance he shook his head and continued to paint, it wasn’t till Mathias started to try and tickle him that Emil got annoyed.  
If it wasn’t for Lukas stopping them, they would have gotten in a paint war with Mathias, as it was they were told to paint different walls away from each other and they spent the rest of the time with blue paint on their face and arms.

When they were done they all cleaned up quick and went to have a late lunch. Said lunch was only boxed macaroni and cheese and cups of milk. They sat around the table and when they were done Emil learned one of the rules in the house, never let the three do the dishes together. It always ended in destator and at some point water got ever where. Emil was so shocked that everything became such a mess in the time that he went to change that he kicked them out of the kitchen. 

So for the rest of the day as they waited for the paint to dry so they could put all the furniture back where they were, Emil cleaned the kitchen. He ended up changing back to the clothing that he was in when he was painting, and started to clean, all while throwing dirty looks at the three that were in the living room, the three of them giving him their very different puppy eyes.

When he was done it was about six in the afternoon, deciding to pay Tina and Berwald back for cooking dinner, he asked if it was okay to start dinner. Father had shrugged and said he didn’t mind, the other two weren’t even paying attention at all, to busy playing some video game.

He ended up making simple pasta with shrimp, peas, and some cream sauce. Father had offered to help and while Emil didn’t need it he did let him sit in the kitchen. When father had offered to answer any questions that Emil had, Emil started asking about his uncle and his family. Emil knew some things about them, and though he hadn’t talked to his uncle since he the last family christmas they had when he was six he had talked to some of his kids. Mainly it was Gilbert his fellow albino and older cousin, but last he had heard Gilbert’s little brother had gotten hurt and they ended up moving to america, but that was four years ago and Emil had lost contact with Gilbert.

So as he cooked he listened to father talk about how they were doing. It was nice, and different from what he would do in Iceland. If he was in Iceland he would either be doing homework and then cooking just enough food for himself, or out and partying, spending his nights in whoever’s bed he could charm his way into that night.

When the food was done so was the paint, so Emil made sure that the food would stay warm and that nothing would catch on fire and helped move the furniture back. By the time they were done, the food wasn’t so cold that they had to warm it up and Tina and Berwald were back. So he gathered everyone up and when they were all sitting they ate. And after Tina and Berwald cleaned up as Emil went to bed, exhausted from the day.

For the rest of the summer Emil days were practical the same, get up get dressed and do whatever father had planed, and if he didn’t have anything planned then Emil would do whatever Mathias talked him into doing. Then he either made dinner or lunch with whoever was there at the time. The only thing that was worth mentioning was that Emil and father when to sign Emil up in the school that he was going to, and even then it was just routine thing that he had to. 

Really if Emil had to point out any time that was worth to mention, it would be that he had ran into a pretty cute boy when everyone in the house when school supply shopping. Emil didn’t get to talk to him but when he saw him from a distance he knew that had he found him in Iceland he would have done anything to get into his bed. With the blonde hair and toned body he was cute, and Emil really wanted to know his name. But he didn’t know how father would react if he saw him flirting with another boy, so he suppressed his urge and ignored it.


	2. Meet Emil Alfred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALFRED!!!!!!! I am going to try to alternate POVs each chapter but its going to be new to me so it will be hard.  
> Names!  
> Marrten- Netherlands  
> Toris- Lithuanium  
> Feliks- Poland  
> Ludwig- Germany
> 
>  
> 
> ~edit~  
> Also I put this up just as my 7th period class ended, so if there is any mistakes please tell me, and any questions can be asked in the comments.

Alfred F Jones was both excited for school, and he wasn't. He always had a love hate relationship with school. On one hand he loved it, it was a place where he got to learn new things, despite what most of his classmates thought he loved to learn, and other the other hand most of his classmates hated him and it was boring when he had no friends. He had the football team, but they weren't the type of people that would hang out with him out of practice, and in school his brother tended to ignore him so he couldn't hang out with him. 

So when he got up that morning he had no idea that his life was going to get a little more exciting. No when he got up that day, he simply went about like he usually would, take a shower, pack his bags, and then get breakfast. Afterwards, he and has brother would get in their car and drive to school apart. 

When he got there he parked and walked in. Despite the fact he has been going here since he was thirteen he liked to familiarize himself with the place and walk around till he had to go to class. He already knew where he had to go, his schedule had come just before the school year started and he didn't plane to go to any locker that the school gave him. 

When it was finally time to go to class he took the shortest route and got there two minutes early. There wasn't a lot of people in the classroom, most people were still in the hall wanting to delay school as much as possible. Still he looked to see who was in here. He spotted Ivan in the back paying more attention to his notebook then who was in the room. There was also Ludwig, a boy who despite being only fifthteen was smart enough to get into a twelfth grade AP chemistry class, and what most people called the local drug dealer, Maarten. Not that Alfred tried to judge and believe rumors, but he had seen and was offered drugs to buy, Alfred didn't take any but he knew for once that the rumors were right.

He shook his head and sat in the middle of the classroom and got out a pencil, he didn't know what they were going to do but it could be what most classes he had in the past do, go over what they were going to do for the rest of the year. The bell rang and the rest of the class ran in like they were being chased by an angry teacher. It was only a few minutes after the bell rang did the teacher come it, and then the day started.

 

Like most first days of school it was boring, and they did exactly what he thought they would do. All throughout the day he was told that this was his last year in the high school before he was going to collage. He was told he had to be serious and make sure to apply and do a bunch of this and this stuff if he wanted to graduate and go to a school that would get him a job. 

It was boring and he really couldn't wait to actually get to the learning. And he really wanted to get learning because he knew that he would need the time. Most of his classes were science or history, that was what he signed up for since he knew that he was going to do something in the science area, and history was just interesting to him. 

If class was slow and boring then lunch was just painful, everyone was finding their people that they wanted to sit with and the lunch food was plain. He sat with his football team for the day and listened to them talk about a new kid. 

Alfred thought nothing of it, a new kid coming to the school, while shocking seeing as they hardly ever had a new student, wasn't something important to him. It wasn't until his last period class that he met the new kid.

It was people history, a class where they would get to talk about the people in history, they would talk about how they grew up, have an in-deep discussion on what they did, how they did it, and things like that. It was interesting and was a new class that was being tried but Alfred had hopes for it.

Anyway, the new kid had came in after he did and sat somewhere behind him. When he had first walked in, Alfred only had time to see him wearing white thigh high heeled shoes and a purple sleeve shirt before he past him. Alfred couldn't turn around just to look at him, that would be creepy and possible make him not want to be his friend. And Alfred may or may not want to be friends with the new boy, even if he seemed to dress like a troublemaker.

When the bell rang and the teacher came in Alfred started to get out a pencil. The teacher grabbed a clipboard and then sat on the desk in the front. The teacher was a small curly brown hair women that couldn't have been more than five foot five. She had a slim figure and wore clothing that was both pretty and covered her up.

She smiled and waved her hand that didn't have the clipboard in it. “Hello, welcome to History of the People. Right now I am going to take attendance then we'll talk about what you will do for the rest of the year okay? So when I call your name will you raise your hand and and make some sort of noise to indicate your here please, thanks.”

As the teacher called out names he heard some he knew personally and some he didn't. When she called out “Emil Steilsson” he looked around and saw the new boy raising his hand. He called out a “here” in an accented voice that sounded cool. Alfred turned around when the teacher called out another name and waited till it was over.

The teacher put down the clipboard and face everyone. She was still on the desk and was looking at them with a serious face. Sue made eye contact with Alfred for a moment before looking away and speaking.

“Well now that the attendance put s done I can tell you what I e will be doing for the year,” she smiled at everyone before continuing, “This class will be different from other classes that you may have had in history. When I say that this is a class where we will study the people in history, I mean that we will go through what a person's childhood. We will go through what they did as a teenager, their adult life, and how they had died. We will talk about who and how they influenced people.”

She took a breath and waited for a moment. She looked around and started speaking again, “Going through a person’s history should talk three or four days. This means that we will start on a new person every week. On Friday you will be working either with a partner for project that you will get, or writing a short summary about the person we did that week. You will not be choosing who your partner,they will be picked out randomly, I want you to try to get along as the person I have picked out will be your partner for all the projects you do in this class.”

Alfred watched her take a breath and wondered who he would be partnered with. The cute new kid? Toris from three seats in front if him? He didn't know but he hoped it was someone that he didn't want to start a fight with just because they looked at him. 

The teacher looked at the clock, then she got out a stack of papers, and a hat.. “Okay, we have ten minutes left, grab a sheet of paper and then i will pull out two names from the hat. Okay you project will be due in three weeks and you will get a week break until your next one, they will be about a person that we will not be going over in class and you do not have to come in front of the class and present.” 

By the time the teacher finished almost everyone had gotten a sheet of paper and were sitting. Alfred watched the teacher grab the hat and put a hand in it, she continued to talk as she grabbed a few slips that were in there, “However I expect the projects to be sent to my email on the date it is due, there will be no late work being accepted. Okay now I will say you and your partners name then your person, Toris your partner will be Feliks and you will doing Louis Pasteur.”

And so it went on, Alfred didn’t pay too much to the others, just tried to here his name. He didn't hear his name until the end the teacher had pulled out the last two and had looked from where she had been looking down. 

“And the last two will be Alfred and Emil, you have Baron Von Steuben,” the bell rang just in time, the teacher nodded to them even as they walked out. “I will see you tomorrow, since we got everything we needed to do we will start tomorrow, so be prepared.”

Alfred looked up when he had packed up his stuff, standing in front of him was the new kid, Emil the one who was supposed to be his partner for the rest of the year. It was like someone above had heard that he wanted to be his friend and smiled. Up close Alfred could see that he had a board look, like he couldn’t wait to leave making Alfred sorta shamed, why he had no idea but it made him feel like he was the cause of that look.

Alfred gathered up whatever courage that he had and looked Emil in the eye and smiled. He held out his hand and said, “Hi, Emil right?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter did not want to be written. i would get an idea then type a few words and then i would lose motivation. but to make up for that, here is almost 4,000 words of ameice. Half way through the dinner scene I just started to imagin Arthur menatlly adopting Emil and I honestly have no idea where that came through but you will notice Arthur mothering Emil like making sure that Francis give Alfred two lunches one for Emil and one for Alfred. Stuff like that. also if you notice any mistakes like Emil going to Email pleas tell me. the amount of times autocorrect has changed makes me sad. like its not funny, spell check asked me if i would like to change all 64 (or whatever number) Emil to email 
> 
> names~~  
> Francis Bonnefoy-Kirkland aka France that is married to England  
> Arthur Kirkland-Bonnefoy aka England that is married to France  
> Matthew aka Canada.

He flopped on his bed with a sigh, he didn't bother to take off his shoes or even his coat. Mathias looked in his room for a moment before disappearing. Emil didn't think anything of it he just sighed again. His mind thought back to his first day of school, namely the last class of the day and his partner for the projects that he had to do.

There wasn’t anything wrong with him and that was the problem. Emil always had a problem with pretty people, and Alfred was very pretty. With blonde hair, blue eyes, and a rather nice build Alfred Jones was someone that Emil would have put a move on the minute he saw them. The problem was if Alfred rejected him then it would be awkward to work with him for the rest of the year, he also didn’t know how his family would react and was a little leary at what they would do.

He opened his eyes, when did he close them again, when he felt the bed move. He sat up and saw the reason why, Mathias was sitting on the bed and was holding two spoons and a container of ice cream, it was his favorite though if that was on purpose or not he didn’t know. Mathias handed him a spoon and opened the ice cream before during his own spoon to take a bite. 

Emil carefully took his own bite and eyed Mathias, normally he wasn’t as quiet as he was now and he was wondering what he wanted. They spent a few minutes in silence just eating ice cream, then Mathias put the ice cream in his lap and stared at him.

“What?” Emil asked annoyed.

“Nothing,” Mathias shrugged.”How was school? Meet anyone you want to be friends?”

Emil shoved a spoon full of ice cream into his mouth as he decided on how to answer. He didn’t want to tell Mathias about Alfred but he knew that he should say something if he didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. If that happened them Mathias would tell the others then he would have two ridiculous overprotective family members, really he could take care of himself but try telling his father and brother that.

Speaking of his brother and father they both walked in his room without knocking and sat on his bed looking at him. Emil got up so they didn’t squish him and dropped down on a been chair he had gotten over the summer. He gave them a dirty look but sighed and finally said something.

“It was fine,” he shrugs and takes another spoon full of ice cream. When he noticed them giving him looks to continue he sighed and took the spoon out his mouth. ”I might have meet some people that I might have known from home. Maybe.”

The others raised an eyebrow at the same time, which was creepy, silently telling him to continue. Emil rolled his eyes and muttered, “You guys are just like old ladies wanting gossip.”

He dodged the pillow that Lukas threw at him and stuck his tongue at him before flicking a small bit of ice cream. He dodged it and it hit their dad, it was quiet for a moment then Mathias snorted and their dad gave him a look. Glad that dad wasn’t giving him a look he took one last bit of ice cream and thought. He wasn’t really lying when he said that he may have met someone from Iceland. Specifically Vash and his sister Lilly who he hadn’t thought he would see after they left for Austria to go live with a family friend.

But no instead Lilly was asked to guide him around the school and he had a math class with Vash. At first it was awkward with Vash, after all how are you supposed to just be friends with an ex boyfriend, but Lilly was never one who like awkwardness and pretty much controlled the conversation that they had in lunch. Still by the end of lunch they had come to an understanding, what happened in Iceland was something that wasn’t to be brought up. It wasn’t like they were ignoring it, it happened and they both knew it but they agreed that they both moved on and there was no reason to bring it up.

He put another spoon full of ice cream in his mouth before it was taken away from him. He made a move to get it back but it was only held higher above him and he didn’t want to get up so he sighed, he seemed to do that a lot today, and crossed his arms. He father raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes. Mathias was laughing in the background but they both ignored him. 

“That’s enough ice cream for now, you don't want to spoil your dinner.”

Email rolled his eyes at his father's attempt at being an adult, really he didn't know why he tried Emil was more mature then he was, and stretched over to grab his guitar. His dad made a face at him but sighed and sat on the floor in front of him. They both ignored the two that were on the bed and wrestling though they both were int if the way is when the two fell in wouldn't be on top of them.

Emil played the first few notes of a song over and over again simply thinking. Dad was watching him with a look that he couldn't understand but all he had in his mind was his last class of the day. He was brought to the present when his dad put a hand on his leg. He jerked it away from the hand eyes snapping to his father, realizing who touched him he slowly untended and slowly let go of his guitar. 

Dad looked at him with a worried look and asked, “Are you okay Emil? Nothing bad happened right, no bullies or anything?”

Emil almost scoffed but didn't knowing that would cause his dad to worry even more. Instead he surged and shook his head, “No, nothing of that happened. I guess I am just tired and a little overwhelmed, the school is bigger than the ones home and is full of people.”

Dad nodded like he understood what he was saying, and for all he knew he could understand it wasn't like Emil knew his dad’s childhood was, and gave him a smile. A bang was heard and vibrations were felt from where the two were sitting. They both turned, Emil glad for the distraction and Dad annoyed that he couldn't reply to Emil, and raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of them.

Somehow Lucas and Mathias had gotten pillows and were hitting each other with them. This caused Mathias to fall when Lucas got in a good shot, however Mathias had had a grip on Lukas’s shirt and brought him down too. Now the two were breathless and on the floor on their back stating at the ceiling. Dad sighed and got up, rubbing at his knees when he did, walking over he held out a hand to them and they took it. 

When they were both up he started to push them to the door and said to Emil, “Take a nap son, it might help you. Someone will come up and tell you that dinner is ready okay?”

Emil nodded and watched them walk out and close the door behind them. Then he sighed and got up to sit on his bed, he took his guitar with him and played the first song that came to mind. When it came to an end he put the guitar back to its place and laid down on the bed putting his face into the pillow he picked up.

Decided,g to follow his dad’s advice he closed his eyes and hoped that he would have happy dreams. He sung a song to get him to go to bed and the last thing he thinks of is Alfred's eyes and smile.

 

Two months later Emil was resigned to the fact he had a crush on Alfred. He was just so kind and he didn't seem to judge Emil on what he wore. In fact Alfred didn't say anything about them except that he though his shirt was cool. 

The saw each other everyday, not only in class but also in the morning when they worked on their projects for class. It was fun and he learned more about Alfred, like how blue was his favorite color or that ghost terrified him. Alfred was on the football team, but he didn't really hang out with them. 

He also learned that Alfred didn't have a problem with the fact that he liked guys, in fact when Emil accidently told him that he just smiled and told him about his family. Who consisted of his younger brother and his two dads. 

It was in October when he finally went to Alfred's home. He had known where it was, Alfred had told him one day after class before he had to get to practice but he was never over there. The day he went to alfreds house was normal, Emil got up and went to school. He was a little grouchy but otherwise fine, he didn’t see Alfred until class because he had to see a teacher but since their project was mostly done it didn’t really matter.

After class Alfred and him planned to meet up after the weekend on Monday and then they went their separate ways, Alfred going to practice and him going home. After the first week of school Emil usually walked instead of getting picked up and dropped off at school, sure it was about a ten mile walk each way but he didn't mind it most days.

Today he did mind because it was raining. He hadn't thought anything of the dark clouds that had been in the sky this morning and he was regretting it now, if he half he would have grabbed an umbrella before he left this morning. But he didn't so after a few minutes of just standing in the doorway of the school he hesitantly poked his foot out, it was soaked immediately and he pulled it back in. He sighed and decided to put his book bag into the locker that the school had given to him, at least then his notebooks and new laptop wouldn't get wet. 

After he put his stuff away he walked back to the front of the school. The rain hadn't let up at all so as he walked out he was getting soaked. It was as he was three miles away that a car came up to him. He wondered if someone would try to kidnap him before window rolled down to reveal Alfred. 

Alfred motioned for him to walk to him and as he did Alfred asked, “Dude what are you doing out here? Are you trying to get sick?”

Emil shrugged and replied, “I usually walk what's the big deal, besides i didn’t feel like calling for a ride.”

Alfred made a face at him deeply unimpressed with him, he looked Emil up and down before grabbing a towel from the back. He put it on the seat next to him and looked at Emil again. “Come on and get in, I will give you a ride.”

“But what about your seats? they will get wet.”

Alfred shrugged, “Then they get wet, it will dry.”

Emil frowned but after a few minutes of eye contact with Alfred he sighed. He walked over to the passenger door and got in, being careful to sit on the towel. Alfred grinned over at him when he shut the door and turned on the heat. A blast of warm air blew on him causing him to relax and shiver slightly, he hadn’t realized he was cold before. 

Alfred looked at him in concern but Emil looked away and out the window, out of the corner of his eye Alfred turned on the radio and the words “I wanna believe in love again” came though loudly. He glanced at Alfred as he turned it down quickly and smirked, Alfred gave him a shrug and a smile even as the song came to an end.

In the pause between the music Alfred looked at him and asked, “So where is your house?”

Emil almost forgot that Alfred didn’t know where he lived, still Emil told him where he lived. When Alfred heard where it was he smeed to look at him like he was crazy, it was probably because he knew how far he would have had to walk in the rain. The drive was relatively quiet besides the music and it was peaceful. Still when they were about to turn on his street Alfred’s phone rang.

Alfred looked at him and then grabbed his phone to answer it, a few minutes he hung up and then looked at Emil again. They were parked and Alfred had a sheepish look. “Um that was my papa, he wants me to pick up milk and eggs before i get home. Do you want to go with me? I can drop you off if you don’t, we are right down your street.”

Emil thought about it, go home and get bombarded with questions and over worried family, or spend more time with Alfred? It wasn’t really a hard choice and Emil replied to Alfred, “Sure I don’t mind going to the store with you.”

Alfred smiled at him and then took a right to go to the nearest store. As Alfred drove he talked about how a couple of nights ago his dad had tried to make dinner for his papa as an anniversary present. The thing was while his dad could bake really good, except scones, he didn’t do well with cooking things so they ended up needing a lot of general foods like milk and eggs.

Emil responded in kind telling Alfred that that all though everyone in his house can cook, they needed to keep his brothers and father out of the kitchen at the same time otherwise they would need to clean the entire kitchen. Alfred laughed at his story on how his second day with his father and brothers went. When they got to the store they were trading stories on their family and laughing, or well Alfred was laughing Emil was chuckling and smiling.

Alfred got out an umbrella before the got out of the car and the two of them walked together into the store still telling stories. They got a cart and then walked around the store getting what Alfred needed to get and then some. By the time they got to the cashier their cart had milk and eggs but also candy, soda, ice cream,and stuff to bake with. Emil was the one who said that they should go to Alfred’s home to put away the ice cream. 

And so that was how Emil was sitting on Alfred’s kitchen counter still slightly wet from the rain but alfred had been kind to offer dry clothes. So Emil was also wearing one of Alfred’s sweatpants and tee-shirt, both which was hung off his hips. Alfred had put his clothes in the dryer after they put the food away and Emil changed.

They were talking about what they were going to do for their next project when Alfred’s papa, based on the description that was who it was, walked in. He was dressed in blue jeans and a purple shirt, they hadn’t heard the door open so they were just as surprised as the man was when he walked in. 

Alfred had quieted down when he saw him which caused Emil to look and quiet down.Emil quietly got down off the counter and stood next Alfred. The man blinked at the two of them before throwing up a smile. 

“Mon fils, you didn’t tell me we would be having guest. My name is Francis Bonnefoy-Kirkland it is a pleasure to meet you Mr.?”

Emil watched as the man, now known as Francis, go from genaly scolding Alfred to asking for his name. He put his hand out in greeting and said, “Hello sir, my name is Emil Steilsson. It’s nice to meet you.”

Emil’s hand was shook and then he was brought into an almost hug as Mr. Bonnefoy-Kirkland kissed his two cheeks. ‘Right,’ Emil thought. ‘Alfred said that his papa was french.’ Alfred made a low “Daaaaaad” hiss as Bonnefoy-Kirkland let go which caused his papa to laugh. 

“Call me Francis Mr. Steilsson, Mr. Bonnefoy-Kirkland makes me feel old.” Mr. Bonnefoy, no Francis, said as he let go and turned to Alfred. “Now why didn’t you tell me you were friends with such a polite you man, we could have meet a long time ago if you did.”

Alfred muttered something that could have been insulting but he didn’t answer the question. Instead he changed the topic. “We went to the store and bought milk and eggs like you asked.”

“Thank you, it wasn’t too much trouble I hope. I see that you both got a little wet seeing as your friend is wearing your clothing.”

There was something about the way he said it that made Emil blush for a moment even as he watched Alfred to see what he would do. Alfred was giving his papa a dirty look even as he said, “It was raining papa, what do you expect? And it would be rude to leave him in wet clothing so I have him wear some of mine as his dry out.”

Francis was giving them a knowing smile, just a twitch at the corner, but Emil didn’t know what he was thinking. Francis didn’t elaborate and instead ushered them out into the living room saying something about he wanted to start dinner before “your father came home” and that he didn’t want the two of them in his way so “you both just play video games or something.”

Emil blinked as the kitchen door shut and Alfred whined besides him. He turned to him wondering what was wrong but Alfred only smiled at him and offered to show Emil his room. Emil nodded, still somewhat shocked about Francis’s behavior, and followed him. 

Two hours later and Emil was sitting at a dinner table next to Alfred and Francis as Alfred’s brother and father stared at him. Mostly it was Alfred’s father that stared at him as his brother was to busy eating, something about how hockey practice was brutal and he hadn’t eaten lunch but Emil swore he smelled weed or something so he was in the mind that the brother just had the munchies, but he's staring was a little creepy. 

Alfred’s father, Arthur Kirkland-Bonnefoy, had taken one look at him, made a face that Emil didn’t understand and welcomed him to stay for dinner. Emil stayed but asked if he could use a phone to call his dad and tell him he was going to be a little late getting home, he actually ended up calling Mathias because apparently dad had seen that he wasn’t at home and answering the phone and went to look for him with Lukas. 

Mathias promised to call Lukas’s phone as dad had either left his home or it was dead and that he would try to calm them down before he got home but that he better be home by at least eleven. Otherwise Mathias had no controle of them and he was on his own to face the protectiveness of the two. Emil had sighed and said thank before giving the phone, it was Arthur’s, back.

Then they all sat down to eat a very good homemade meal. There were mashed potatoes with the option of gravy, a honey glazed ham, banana bread, fresh rolls that had a little cinnamon and sugar in them, and maple glazed carrots. And for dessert Arthur had made salted peanut cookies, which was seriously good.

It was halfway through desert that Arthur started watching him, it seemed that on;y he noticed as Alfred was enjoying desert and the other two weren’t really paying attention. Emil was wondering if he should say something when Arthur spoke up. 

“So, Emil was it, what do you like to do? Alfred told me that you meet up in the morning to work on your projects but he hasn’t told me, us, anything else.”

Emil watched Alfred give his dad a look before rolling his eyes. Still this felt like a test, and he hated test they stressed him out, and answered honestly. “Well I like animals, mostly birds, and um I like to play guitar.”

Emil didn’t know what else to say but Arthur didn’t look like he was judging him so that was a plus. “Anything else? What about school, do you a have a favorite subject?”

This he could answer because he did have a favorite but he didn’t know if the answer would be good. “Well if I had pick a subject I would pick either History or langues. Beside that no sir, I don’t really like anything else.” 

‘Well besides your son,” Emil thought but didn’t say. For one he didn’t really think saying that would earn him any point and for another he wasn’t ready to tell Alfred that he liked him. Emil watched as Arthur nodded and finally put on a smile, strained though it was. 

 

For the rest of the time he was there it was relaxed, Alfred's brother was introduced at Matthew and after dinner he went up into his room. Arthur and Francis were in the living room, Alfred and Emil were in the kitchen putting stuff away and washing dishes, despite the protest that he was a guess from the adults and Alfred he helped. When it was time to go it was Arthur that drove him home as Alfred still couldn’t drive past a certain time. 

The dive was mostly quiet except for low rock music, Emil found it amusing how a like Alfred and Arthur were. When they got to his street Arthur had slown the car down so he could point out which one was his. When he did Arthur slowed down to a stop in front of it, Emil turned and thanked him for the ride then made to open the door to get out. He felt a hand on his shoulder and forced back a flinch, he wasn’t use to be touched unexpectedly, and looked at Arthur. 

Arthur was looking him in the eye even as he let go, now that he had his attention Arthur started to say something. “It was a pleasure to have you for dinner Emil, and you are welcome to come again anytime.”

Emil blinked and relaxed, “Thank you sir. It was fun and delisas.” 

Arthur nodded and pulled out a bag of the salted peanut cookies, from where he had know idea, and pushed them into his hands. “Here take these as a reminder.”

Emil thanked him again and gave him a small smile and finally got out. Arthur stayed until he saw him open the door then Emil heard him drive off before he was tackled.

“EMIL! ARE YOU OKAY? I AM SO SORRY THAT I LEFT YOU IN THE RAIN FORGIVE ME!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translatons~~  
> Mon flis- my son according to google translate. If its wrong pleas tell me and correct me so I can change it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter in Alfred's pov. Hope you enjoy it.

Alfred didn’t see Emil until after the weekend on Monday. Like he thought would happen Emil had gotten sick, though instead of staying home he still came to school. Alfred had walked into the library to see if he was there, not really thinking he would if he had gotten sick, and had frowned the minute he saw him.

Emil had his head laying down on the table he was sitting at, wearing more layers than he usually wore. Alfred spotted at least three more coats other than the hoodie that Emil always wore, and instead of jeans Emil had on a pair of sweatpants. Alfred had walked over and felt his forehead, just like his papa would do when he was little to see if he had a fever, and frowned even more.

Emil was burning up, what was more worrying was the fact that he didn’t react to Alfred touching him. Alfred had noticed that he was always a little touch shy when it came to being touched, so when he did react to it made him worried. Alfred tried to get Emil’s attention only to realize that he was asleep.

Alfred looked at the time to see that there was at least an hour till school started and made up his mind. He picked up Emil’s things, putting the stuff that was out back into his book bag, and asked the librarian if he could put his and Emil’s stuff in the back while he took Emil to the nurse. Then when he had everything stored away in safe place he went back to Emil and picked him.

He went slow as he walked to the nurse’s office, careful not to wake up Emil as he walked. The halls were mostly empty, no one except the teachers and those that needed more help ever came to school this early, so he wasn’t stopped much on his way. When he got to the nurse’s door he kicked it as a knock and waited until it could be open.

When the nurse opened it and let him in, he set Emil down on one of the beds and covered him with a blanket the nurse gave him. Then he explained what had happened both on friday and this morning to the nurse. The nurse nodded and let him stay while they called someone, probably his father, to come pick him up. 

However when no one answered, the nurse called a different phone number. After five different phone numbers the nurse ended up calling the main offfice to see if there was any more numbers that could possibly answer. When none came up Alfred got an idea.

After his dad had dropped Emil off and came home, Alfred was told that Emil could come over anytime as long as he didn’t bring any trouble to the house. There was also a lecture on how that they couldn’t be Alfred’s bedroom with the door closed but Alfred didn’t really understand what that ment. Still his dad had also said that Alfred could call him if Emil and him ever needed help, and while this probably wasn’t what his dad ment he didn’t care.

So Alfred made the suggestion that Emil could go with his dad. It wasn’t like the staff didn’t know his dad, after all dad had gone here to and became a very good doctor. And Emil couldn’t really stay in the nurse’s office all day, the nurse wasn’t allowed to give medicine to a student that wasn’t prescripted and it was clear that Emil needed medicine.

So with a weary look the nurse tried one last time to call the numbers before they gave in. Alfred had already texted his dad and asked if he would do it, and had gotten a yes and was told to get Emil’s stuff ready, before the nurse called his dad. When the nurse got off the phone he was asked to get Emil’s things again and left quickly so he could get back before his dad got there. 

there was about twenty minutes before class started when dad had gotten there. Dad had signed the papers that he needed to and made Alfred help him get Emil into the car. Alfred said goodbye to the both of them, despite that Emil couldn’t say anything back, and told his dad that he would bring Emil’s school work back home with him. Alfred walked back to the school after his dad told him to go to class, there was only a few minutes until the first warning bell rang, and thought of how boring the day was going to be.

 

Like he thought the day was boring, before practice he went to all of Emil’s missed work and put it with his. And after practice he drove home and didn’t bother to say hi to his brother who was on the couch. Instead he went straight to his room where Emil was. His dad was in there putting a wash cloth on Emil’s head. Emil was sleeping and wasn’t in the multiple layers that he had on before and only had the bare minimum on. 

His dad looked and nodded before continuing what he was doing. Alfred waited until he was done before he asked how he was doing. Dad looked both amused but slightly exasperated, even as he answered.

“Well, he is doing better then he was earlier. We got some medicine in him, it looks like the reason he was passed out was because he wasn’t taking care of himself properly.”

“So he will be okay right?”

His dad sighed and nodded, “Yes Alfred your friend will be okay.”

His dad moved to sit in one of the chairs in the room and gave Alfred a look. “Will you tell me why i was called? Usually they call the parents or guardian of the student.”

Alfred felt a little awkward at the question. Emil never said much about his family except that he had only recently moved to America to live with his father, two brothers and two other people. Sure he knew some stuff other than that, like the fact that Emil wasn’t that close to his family and that something bad had happened in the place that Emil had lived in before he moved. But he didn’t really know much about why Emil’s dad or family wouldn’t answer their phone.

“I don’t really know why but none of the numbers worked when the nurse called for someone to pick Emil up.”

Alfred shrugged at his dad frown and sat down on the floor. They sat in silence until dad stood up and stretched, “Well I’m going to go bake something, if Emil wakes up come call me. He needs to take some medicine soon and i’d rather not have to wake him up.”

Alfred watched as his dad walked out the door and before he started to get out his homework. He also separated Emil’s stuff from his own and put it next to his bag that was near his closet door. He sat at his desk and started to work on his science homework, though he kept an eye on Emil in case he ever woke up. Hopefully he woke up on his own, Alfred didn’t really want to wake him up on purpose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slames chapter on a desk* IT'S DONE! YAAAA! WOOOOOO! Finnaly after many rewrites this chapter is done. And i for once like how this one is, it's better then all rewrites. Sorry for the late update but here it is. After so long. To recap, Emil is sick, Alfred is a good friend, Arthur is a good dad, And Emil's family has no idea that Emil is sick. Wonder how long thats gonna last?

Emil felt cold, he couldn’t breath without feeling like he wanted to cough and he had a headache. When he opened up his eyes he saw white and off to the side he saw blue walls. He tried to sit up but he got dizzy so he laid down again. He moved his had to the side to see Alfred sitting at a desk writing something down. 

He wondered why Alfred was in his room before realizing it was the opposite, he was in Alfred’s room. And by the looks of it, he was in Alfred’s bed. That thought brought a warm feeling but he mentally shook the thought away. He tried to get Alfred’s attention by saying his name but he ended up coughing, it got his attention though.

Alfred stood up and walked over to him smiling, he helped him sit up and gave him a cup full of water with a straw. He drank it gratefully and said thanks before asking Alfred why he was here. Alfred gave him a look, one full of concern before answering him.

“When i went to school this morning you were burning up and wouldn't wake up so i took you to the nurses. She tried to call your family to come pick you up but no one would answer so i called dad and asked him.”

“Oh,” Emil said thinking. It didn’t surprise him that none of his family answered, most were probably busy and wouldn’t have bothered to answer the phone. What did surprise him though was that Alfred had his father pick him up, he felt a little guilty that he had to be taken care of. Usually when ever he was sick he would have to take care of himself, what with his mother gone most of the time.

“Ah how long have I been out?”

Alfred looked at the clock on his dresser before turning towards him, “Well you dad said he woke you up a little to take some medicine when you first got here and that had been in the morning. Dad actually wanted me to wake you up soon so you could take some more. Sooo, I would say about seven to eight hours.”

Emil nodded before pausing, “My stuff is it still at school, or..”

Alfred shook his head, “No we have it here, it’s near the door. Are you hungry? I know dad has soup made for you, I can bring some up.”

Emil tries to shake his head but stop when his head acts like it is throwing around hammers. “Okay, and no thanks I’m fine.”

Alfred nodded and got up from where he sat down, “Okay, let me go get your medicine so you can take it.”

Emil whispered a small ‘Okay’ as Alfred walked out. Ten minutes later Alfred walked back in carrying a tray. Emil in that time had managed to almost fall off the bed and had been half off the bed when he walked in. He had been looking for his phone so he could text Mathias and tell him he was alright but had instead got tangled up in the sheets and comforter causing him to be sidetracked.

Alfred set the tray down on his desk and helped him get untangled. Emil couldn’t help but get embarrassed as Alfred picked him up like he weighed nothing and set him back on the bed. Now that he wasn’t tangled he could feel his phone in his hoodies pocket. He took it out to see he had missed more than a few phone calls and had texts that should be opened. 

Alfred set a bowl in his lap causing him to put his phone away so he could steady it. “Here, dad wasn’t you to eat at least half of that. He says that you need to eat to take you medicine.”

Emil looked up and nodded, he slowly brought up a spoon full of the soup to his lips and took a bite. The soup had a chicken based broth, and Emil could see some carrots, onions, celery, noodles, and small chunks of chicken. It was good and he couldn’t help but eat almost the whole bowl. When he couldn’t eat anymore he carefully set the bowl on the nightstand. 

Alfred was also eating something, it looked like a sandwich, but when he set the bowl down he handed Emil his medicine. Emil took it without complaining, but he couldn’t help but cover himself in the blankets when he was done. With a full stomach, medicine in him Emil fell asleep, forgetting to call Mathias.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dives in* I'M SOOOO SORYYY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE. However real like sucks, and i haven't been in a very AmeIce mood lately. The last few days however i was and this came out. It's different from other chapters because this one is from Arthur's , aka Englands, POV. This just goes over his thoughts on whats happing. I hope you enjoy this one. also know that hopefully the next chapter will be out soon. *dives out*

Arthur Kirkland-Bonnefoy remembered his teenage years well, despite how long it has been. He had been a punk, dyed hair, piercings, tattoos and tight clothing were what he wore until he was in his early twenties. Not many people knew about it, at least not anyone that he talked to now a days knew about it. The only one that knew was Francis, seeing as he hasn’t really spoken to his family since he first turned sixteen and was sent to America to go to his alumni, and he never brought it up without good reason.

So when he got a call just before his shift ended at the hospital from his husband to tell him that they had a guess in the form of his oldest son’s friend that reminded Francis of him when they were younger, well Arthur was a little worried. Arthur hadn’t just looked the part of a punk, he had the attitude and actions of one too. Before he started on his path to be a doctor, he had smoked, drank and probably killed his liver before he turned twenty. He had also been known to fight and had spent more then one night in a holding cell. 

So when he first met Emil he was ready to set the boy straight if he acted up. However all throughout the night he did nothing, the boy was polite and didn’t even really look like a punk. However as Arthur asked the boy questions he soon realized that it wasn’t so much as Emil reminding Francis as his punk days, as it was remembering the awkwardness of Arthur’s when he was hiding a crush. Emil was acting like Arthur had when meeting Francis’s family, all polite and gentlemanly hoping to impress everyone.

It wasn’t as obvious as Arthur was, the boy had no tattoos or piercings to cover up nor did the boy seem to even realize his own feelings yet. But it was there, and Arthur knew how he felt. When he made Alfred help him get out the cookies that he had made he asked if Alfred knew anything about the boy. It wasn’t much but he did find out that Emil walked at least ten miles everyday to either get to or from the school. 

Arthur wondered about Emil’s family all through the rest of the evening, As a doctor he had to be observant and despite how hidden it was he noticed the tiny flinches at sudden movement or loud noise. He had dealt with many abuse cases and though he knew better than to assume that Emil was abused by his his family he couldn’t help but think that. So in order to see if he could spot anything that indicated abuse he drove Emil home and gave him some more cookies before he drove away. Throughout the drive nothing really happened though when he grabbed Emil’s shoulder he felt the flinch that Emil tried to hid. He held in a frown but let him go before telling him that he could come around anytime. He didn’t drive away until he saw Emil unlock the door and start to walk in.

That Monday, after he picked up Emil because he was sick and no one would pick up apparently, he was slightly pissed. Not at the boy or even the fact that he was picking him up, no what he was pissed about was the parenting, or the lack of parenting, that was going on. Before he left the school he called Francis to make some soup that he could heat up later for the boy and then went to the store. In the few minutes that he was in the nurse's office Emil showed the signs of having the flu and so he wanted to pick up some some stuff for him. When he got home France helped him get Emil up to Alfred’s bedroom before going back to cooking. 

Meanwhile he carefully woke the boy up and helped him get out of the multiple layers that he had before laying him down again. He then took his temperature and gave the boy the amount of medicine that he needed before grabbing a cup of tea and a book and took a seat in the room. He sat there listening to the boy’s feaverish murmuring, and he learned a few things about the boy, and did everything he could to make his temperature drop. 

An hour before Alfred came home it finally started to go down causing him to breathe a sigh of relief. If it had stayed that high for longer he would have had to take the boy to the hospital. That would have just been a mess and a half because for one thing he wasn’t the boys guardian and therefore wouldn’t be able to fill out anything that he needed. Another thing was that they would have to ask why he was the one taking him to the hospital and not his family. Neither of the options looked fun though if it was necessary he would do it. 

When Alfred finally got home he put Alfred in charge of watching the boy to finally get a break. And later when Alfred came down to get the boy something to eat, plus the medicine, Arthur couldn’t help but think that, in this reenactment of history, if Emil was him then that would make Alfred, Francis. After all, if this played out in a similar path that his and Francis went the that would mean that the two would be each other highschool sweethearts. 

Arthur couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t mind having the young boy as a son-in-law when the two would be older. However if the boy’s family proved to be assholes then he might just end up letting the boy stay here until then. Arthur shook his head at that thought and stood up when Alfred came in with the tray he used for the medicine and food. Alfred said that Emil was sleeping again but that he took the medicine without complaining and ate almost all the food. 

That was good, at least Emil knew not to complain like some people he knew would. Now they just have to see if the boy can keep the food down, though since he didn’t throw up the medicine before he should be fine. Arthur still brought a towel and bucket into Alfred’s room in case. He made sure that Emil was fine and that Alfred had eaten enough before he said goodnight to the two, though Emil would not here it. 

That night he went to bed knowing that at least if something went wrong then at least Alfred would be there for him. Alfred planned sleep in the same bed as Emil for the night despite the fact that there was a chance that he might get vomited on. If that happened then Arthur would simply say I told you so and laugh before making him take a shower.


	7. In witch GIlbert is a little shit, and we learn about some of Iceland's family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you will get to see who the cousin the iceland and scandinavia were talking about in chapter One i belive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOW two updates in a row! Thats some good stuf right there. Okay so this scene has been bugging me for a few days now, but i had wanted to write Arthur's POV first before i wrote anything else. So when I finally aloud myself to write this it just went. And well I guess i wrote fast enough that i got it it done. Yay.

Alfred had laid down next to Emil in hopes that should He need help Alfred would be there for him. His dad had told him if the chance of being pucked on but Alfred didn’t really care about that. It was his job as Emil’s friend to help him even if body fluids would be present. Still when he woken up by a fimlar laugh and not to Emil puking he was slightly confused. (Not that he want Emil to be sick it was just that he thought that was what he was going to wake up to.)

He opened up his eyes to see his ceiling, looking down to see what was on his chest he saw that some time in the night Emil had rolled over on to him. He shoved down the embarrassment and focused on the laugh. It was coming from where his door was so he turned his head to see who was laughing. 

A white haired, red eyed man that was about 5’10 maybe 5’11 stood in the doorway. He had a pale hand covering his mouth in an attempt to muffle his laugh but it excapted a couple of times. Another hand was holding a phone up and clearly he was taking either a photo or video. The man’s jeans were light blue and he was wearing a long sleeve graphic shirt that said ‘Awesome Has Arrived’. All in all Gilbert Beilschmidt looked like an asshole, why he was here Alfred didn’t know but before he could ask Gilbert spoke.

“Keshehe, when Arthur asked me to come and get you and you brother up I never thought I would see you like this. Then again I’m glad that I get to document this, I wonder how much Francy Pants will pay for these pictures?”

Alfred groaned slightly, he had no doubt that Gilbert would sell the pictures to his papa, before slowly getting up making sure not to wake Emil. Then he turned to Gilbert, who was still laughing though it quieted down some, and raised an eyebrow. Gilbert rolled his eyes before leaving and closing the door, Alfred nodded to himself and started to grab his clothing. 

As he did though he thought, Gilbert was a childhood friend even if he was slightly older then he was. In fact Gilbert was four years older then he was though his dad often said that he didn’t have the maturity of one. Still they had become friends after he and his family and moved in, the story had to do with Alfred and Matthew standing up to some bullies that were picking on Gilbert's little brother. Gilbert had saw it, and after beating up the bullies and told them that they were awesome, after that the three of them became friends and Gilbert spent any time not with family or at school with them. 

So often had Gilbert been at their house with them that until he got his own apartment and a more difficult schedule that papa always put down a fifth plate at meal times. Being at their house also had a side effect of Gilbert becoming interested in the medical field. More often then not after Gilbert found out that dad kept his old medical text books did they go missing. They all knew where they went and since they usually end back on their shelves a week or two after being taken dad didn’t really care. In fact Alfred wouldn’t be surprised if dad had brought more text books for gilbert to ‘steal’. 

Nobody that knew Gilbert were surprised when he signed up to be a medical major after high school. They also weren’t surprised when after he graduated at the age of nineteen, Gilbert had graduated high school two years earlier than others his age, that he went to where dad was working and applied. He did of course get the job and worked under dad, he still did in fact even after two years.

Alfred walked out of his bedroom and then changed in the bathroom before going down stairs. Gilbert was at the stove making what looked like oatmeal but he still looked up when Alfred walked in. He sat down at the kitchen table and stared at Gilbert before asking, “Sooo what are you really here for. Dad knows that me and Mattie can get up on our own.”

Gilbert nodded like he knew that was what Alfred was going to ask, but he didn’t say anything until he turned to him. The stove was off now and the pan of oatmeal moved to a different burner. Gilbert sat across from him and looked at him as he responded. 

“Well Arthur had to go to work to day, and Francis had to go to his bakery. He asked me to come and take care of a sick child that was in his house. At first I thought it would be one of you two, but when I got here he explained that it wasn’t. Now Imagine my surprise when I go to check up on the kid that it is my cousin that I haven’t seen in almost five years.”

Gilbert looked him in the eyes, that was what Alfred liked about him that he always looked you in the eyes when he was serious. Still the word ‘Cousin’ stands out to him. Alfred raises an eyebrow and asked what he ment. Gilbert in response leaned back and explained. 

“Unless I’m seeing wrong, the kid in there is my cousin on my fathers said. Last I knew he was in Iceland. Though I haven’t seen or talked to him in years the fact that he moved here must be new. I know for a fact that his mother wouldn’t have moved so he must be living with uncle now.”

Alfred nodded and then said, “He once told me that he just recently moved here before summer ended.”

Gilbert nodded like that explained everything, then his face got a look that made him weary. After all, Alfred had seen that face right before Gilbert said or did something that made someone want to punch him. 

“Well now that that is over, would you like to tell me why the two of you were in the same bed. Emil looked to be out cold and I know that he wouldn’t let anyone near him when he is sick.”

Alfred blushed and glared before looking away and mumbling, “I wanted to be there for him if he got sick.”

Gilbert hummed then said in a teasing voice, “Well then I can't fault you for that, but you could have just slept on the floor. Unless of course there's something else you would like to tell me?”

Alfred blushed even harder before getting up, he turned and was walking away saying that he was going to get ready for school. As he did he heard Gilbert snickering and scowled. He did of course get ready for school, he had half an hour until he usually left for school but he was probably going to get there later. That wouldn’t be a problem of course considering that he usually got there at least and hour before school even started.

Before he left made sure that Emil would be comfortable, he put a glass of water and his phone on the table besides the bed. He even made sure that there would be blankets and clean clothing out for him. When Gilbert saw him he laughed but otherwise said nothing. When he was walking out the door, Gilbert stopped him and put a bag full of food in his hand. He rolled his eyes but put it in his bag and went to school.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this chapter has been practically done for a couple of days but i needed to make a few agustments here and there. Plus this past month has not been my month at all. starting with needing to do a project then findling out I had my english final due a week after that was due. then i had to do testing. but you didn't come here to hear me complain so here is this chapter.

Emil woke up to a phone ringing, and the sun in his face. He turned over and the sun disappear however the phone kept ringing. He tried to ignore it but finally with a growl, that caused him to choke and cough, he answered it. Or tried to seeing as he couldn’t really see it and ended up dropping it when he first picked it up. Still when he finally did press the answer button the phone call ended.

Sighing he dropped the phone to rub at his eyes and then get up. He was feeling better than he had yesterday, though he still felt a little dizzy. Sitting down again he picked up his phone to see how called only to go pale at how many phone calls and texts he missed. There were at least ten texts from each of his family and at least fifty calls from them too, the last one was from Mathias. 

Deciding that it was to much trouble to call later he pressed the recall button and put the phone to his ear. He didn’t have to wait long for it to be answered, and when it did a loud voice answered. 

“Emil! Where are you? Are you okay? Do you need help? Answer me!”

Emil managed to tell Mathias to slow down before he sneezed and coughed. He dropped the phone on to the floor and tried to calm down but it was a few minutes before anything happened. The door opened but he paid no attention to it, a cup filled with water and a straw was put in front of his face. He took it and took slow sips from it as he stared down at the floor. 

A hand was placed his back and a familiar german accent filled the room asking him if he was alright. He looked up to see the familiar red eyes and almost white hair, he blinked once to see if he was seeing things but no it was still his older cousin Gilbert. He wondered why before putting it out of his mind as he nodded and moved away from him. 

Gilbert also moved away and got up, he bent down and picked up the phone that fell. Emil could see that Mathias was still on the phone but before he could say anything Gilbert said, “I’ll talk to Mathias, you go take a shower if your up to it. The towels are in the closet in the bathroom, and for clothes Alfred said to just borrow his.”

“Ah, okay.” Emil couldn’t say anything to that, if Gilbert talked to Mathias then he wouldn’t have to talk and that was great for him. He wouldn’t have to tell them why he went to school sick and he could avoid them just a little bit longer. Emil slowly got up from the bed and walked to Alfred’s dresser. 

The last time he had been here and borrowed Alfred’s clothing he found out that unless it was dress shirts, jeans, or dress pants than all of Alfred’s clothes were in his dresser. Opening up the third draw he grabbed a “AMERICA FUCK YEAH” t-shirt that Alfred had then closed it. Opening the last draw he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and walked away. 

He looked out into the hallway though it was empty and walked across the hall into the bathroom. Getting out a towel he looked into the mirror to see what he looked liked, the bags that had been under his eyes had faded to a lighter color. HIs hair was all over the place, that wasn’t new, and whatever color he had had come back making him not so sickly looking. It was better than how he looked a few days ago at least, he probable should thank Alfred and Arthur for that. Francis too maybe, he thought, at least for making him soup. Shaking his head he striped down and took a shower.

After he was done, he put on Alfred’s clothing and shoved his dirty clothing into his school bag. He felt way better than he did before and walked down stairs after taking one of Alfred’s hoodies, it was blue with a red hood, and some socks. Walking down stairs he heard the sound of someone either cleaning or making food. Looking into the kitchen he found Gilbert rolling out what looked like dough on the counter. 

When he walked in Gilbert looked up and gave him grin before going back to what he was doing. When he was done he washed his hands and then gave him a surprise hug. Emil tried to push back but whatever strength he had was gone and replaced by his sickness. Sighing he went limp and let Gilbert have his way, a few minutes later he was finally go and he sat back down. Gilbert then grabbed a bowl and made Emil a bowl of soup as he just sat down in a chair. 

When the bowl was set down Emil slowly ate it and watched Gilbert as he walked around the kitchen. When he was finished he set the bowl aside and carefully looked at Gilbert, he was looking through the cupboards and not really paying any attention. Looking at him Emil wondered how familiar he was with the Bonnefoy-Kirkland family. After all he didn’t think that Gilbert would just randomly go through someone's place if he didn’t really know him.

It made him wonder where the rest of his cousins were, he was pretty sure he had heard about Ludwig in school. But hearing and knowing were two different things, and none of his family ever said anything about where his cousins were. Then again he never really asked and if he really wanted to know then he could have looked them up on social media.

Emil’s body decided to hate him at that moment and made him cough, as he was trying to get his breath back Gilbert helped him drink a cup of water. Finally Emil sat up able to breath again, and looked at Gilbert. 

“Didn’t think that I would see you when I moved here.” 

Gilbert snorted as backed up and gave him a grin, “And I didn’t think that I would see my little cousin in bed with my honorary little brother. But here you are, when Arthur asked me to take care of one of Alfie’s friends I didn’t think it would be you.”

Emil almost raised an eyebrow at the nickname Alfie but he did blush about Alfred sleeping next to him. He tried to not blush but being sick didn’t help him keep his usually calm demeanor, and it didn’t help that the thought of being near Alfred made him want to blush when he wasn’t sick. 

He tried to ignore Gilbert’s laughing but in the end told him to shut up, Gilbert just laughed at him and moved sit onto a counter. Emil growled at him before sighing, being here like this with Gilbert reminded him of before the older moved. They hadn't seen each other often but when they did more often than not they would end up like this, Gilbert laughing and on some ledge with Emil growling or glaring.

It reminded him of better times, of when he wasn’t drunk or finding someone else's bed to sleep at night. Of when most nights he wasn’t as desperate for some kind of human contact. But those nights were long gone, both types of nights it seemed as now he couldn’t even go out to any parties. Not that he could really say that he wanted to, not after the last time.

Emil tried to push out the picture of waking up in a white room, or doctors asking him if he felt pain or if he knew why he was there. He tried not to think of the police telling that they walked in on him-Emil shivered. He couldn’t even finish that picture without feeling sick, while he may not actually remember what happened just the fact of being told of it happening gave him chills.

Emil was pulled out of his, depressing and self-hatred filled, thoughts by Gilbert laying a hand on his arm. Of course since he wasn’t really there he didn’t know it was him and flinched away from him, and then onto the floor because he was on a chair and that was the only way to go. Gilbert backed up but by then Emil was more aware of where he was, he looked down as he got.

He just stood there and waited for Gilbert to say something, Emil knew that Gilbert wasn’t stupid but what conclusion he would come up with. It wasn’t like he flinched when ever someone touched him before Gilbert moved so he would no doubt be suspicious. 

“Emil, are you okay?” 

Gilbert’s voice was soft and it was almost hesitant, but Emil couldn’t hear anything resembling pity. Something he was glad for as he had started to hate pity, it was the only think he got from the nurses and police. Hell even the kids in school had hears about it and gave him pity, why the fuck were they pitying him he was trying to move on and they were just holding him back. Maybe that was he had gotten in more fights as the year went on, maybe that was why he never told his mom.

But the past was the past and he couldn’t do anything about it, all he had to do was move on and pretend he was fine. Maybe one day it would be true but for now all it was an act that he put on the days that he just wanted to lay in bed and not get up, but didn’t want to worry anyone. So he got up, made a couple of comments, and swallowed down ash tasting food every day and not show his true thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my summer vacation so I have a lot of free time. Also this chapter hopefully moves the plot along. The plot of course is to have Alfred and Emil together.

Alfred didn’t pay attention in school as much as he should have, but how could he have when his friend was sick. Throughout the day Alfred’s thoughts would stray to Emil, questions like if he was okay, had he woken up already, was he feeling better, and even what was he doing now would run through his head. It caused all sorts of problems, he wasn’t paying attention in class and didn’t get any notes like he was supposed to so he had to go to his teachers during his lunch and ask them if they could email the notes to him. Then when they would ask why he had to go through the process of telling them that he was worried which for some reason embarrassed him.

He didn’t know why, but anytime the teachers looked at him he couldn’t help but feel like they knew some something that he didn’t. It was they way they would raise any eyebrow at his blushing cheeks then it would lower as an knowing amused look crossed their face. Alfred hated how they would do that, he wanted to ask them what they knew but any courage he had was practically gone just from having to ask for the notes.

As the day ended he knew that he would not be in the mood for practice and told the coach that he was feeling good and went home. On the way home he thought about Emil and how he was, it wasn’t any different from his thoughts from the rest of the day but then he started to think about how Emil looked. Alfred knew that sometimes someone's appearance can show how one felt but his thoughts were more about Emil’s eyes of all things. He also thought of how Emil usually walked with slumped shoulders and how he wasn’t all that tall like the boots that Emil wore showed but that he also wasn’t short either. 

Alfred wondered why he was thinking about this stuff, what did he really care about Emil’s hight or how his eyes seemed to shine and look mystise sometimes. As he pulled into his driveway he couldn’t help but think about how the cheerleaders acted when they thought about someone they viewed as cute or hot. He remembered asking why they would say things similar to what his thoughts to his papa one day after hearing them talk. He sat for a moment to think what his reply had been before remembering, that was right papa had said that sometimes people said those things when they were in love, but that those girls, they were about his age when he ask and he was fourteen, most likely had a crush. 

At the time he hadn’t known what a crush was, as far as he knew a crush wasn’t an actual thing but an action that one did. But his papa had said that it was the first stage of love, it was when people first started to take notice of someone and found that they were attractive but didn’t have the courage to talk to them. So they would fantasize about them and think of them all the time, papa had said that until a person got the courage to talk to them it would only remain a crush because they would never truly know them and make stuff up about the person, at least that is what most young kids do. 

Alfred never truly understood what he had said until about a year later when he couldn’t stop thing about a news anchor lady. Alfred hadn’t said anything but he had tried to get rid out the crush, he needed to focus on school because he had plains for when he grew up and that require being an actually good student. And well it worked apparently because after christmas he no longer thought about her, and that was the last time he ever thought about crushes. 

But now he could help but think, maybe he did have a crush on the news lady, after never thought about her like he was doing about Emil. He never worried that she would be sick and alone, he never had to go to teachers and ask for the notes to be sent to him. Then again maybe it was just because he knew Emil and was friends with him that he was worried, it wasn’t because of some crush that would fade over time. Yeah that had to be it, thinking about Emil all day worried was an act of friendship, not some crush. 

With his mind made up he got out of his car and walked inside his home, he went into the kitchen to see it empty and then peeked into the living room. Gilbert was sitting on the floor cross legged and in front of the coffee table that his dad had insisted on getting when he was eight, it had been ugly back then and it was ugly now it was just that home wouldn’t be home without it, and was doing what paperwork he had brought with him. 

On the couch behind him was Emil sleeping in one of his hoodies, he had his arm laying under his head in the couches headrest and his legs were mostly tucked under him. Alfred started for a moment, taking in the ridiculously cute picture, before turning away and towards Gilbert. Alfred dropped his bag next to the doorway as he walked in more before sitting in one of the chairs in the room, still staring at Gilbert he asked how Emil was doing.

Gilbert looked for a moment before going back to his papers, still he answered. “He was fine mostly, besides a few coughing fits. He kept everything down, drank and ate his food like he was told to, didn’t even try to not take his medicine.”

Alfred nodded though he stopped when he realized that Gilbert wouldn’t see it, instead he leaned back into his chair and looked at Emil. He focused on what he was wearing, to see if he should grab a blanket for him, but stopped when he heard the door open. Alfred looked over out the window, he saw his dad’s car parked behind his before turning away, just as he did his dad walked in with a grumpy face. 

“Hello lads how was your day?” 

Alfred shrugged and wondered why his dad was trying to be pilot, it wasn’t like they weren’t family so what did it matter, though Gilbert wasn’t tencally family he was here so often he might as well be. Still Alfred said his was alright though he was worried about Emil, Gilbert had just looked up and waved though he didn’t say anything. His dad nodded before looking at Emil, instantly the grumpy look went away and the ‘serious doctor face’, as Alfred had once called it, replaced it. 

Dad walked over to Emil, dropping is briefcase on the table as he did, and carefully put his hand on Emil’s head. Alfred watched as his dad nodded his head before standing up and facing him and walking away from Emil.

“Alfred dear, I think Emil would feel better if he woke up on a bed, would you mind taking him up and laying him on yours?”

Alfred shrugged and got up, walking over he told his dad that he would bring Emil up and make sure he was covered. He was told not to cover him up to much so he didn’t get over heated but other be careful, Alfred nodded and picked Emil up. Alfred put his right arm under Emil’s head and neck while his left arm went under his knees, slowly he stood up before walking over to the stairs then up them. As he walked up he hoped his door was at least a little bit opened otherwise he didn’t know how he would get it, thankfully the door was open so he used his foot to nuge it a little more and walked in. He set Emil down then grabbed a thin but soft blanket to put over him, he stepped back and tried to think of anything else Emil might need but couldn’t. 

Deciding that he should go and grab his homework he turned and walked back down stairs, he stopped however at the last one when he heard Gilbert and his dad talk. Now them talking wouldn’t have worried him, they did it all the time and besides what intreas did he have in their conversations, but when he heard Emil’s name he had to. 

“-Is he okay now? there wasn’t anymore that happened?”

That was his dad's voice, Alfred could hear small traces of worry and he tried to lean forward without falling over.

“Yeah, after that first one he didn’t have anymore, though he seemed to be more alert. Trying to watch for anything unusually.”

Alfred heard what he thought was Gilbert take a breath in.

“I’m worried, Emil’s my baby cousin despite the fact that we loss contact. I want to know what could have sent him into a such a state. He never did before, Sure he was quiet, and never liked loud noises but never to touch like that.”

“I know,” Alfred heard his dad say before there was silence. He waited for a moment to see if they would say anything but they didn’t. Before he could continue and get his bag, and pretend he never heard anything, he heard his dad say one last thing.

“I have an idea what happened, he started talking yesterday, dileriuse at the time but what he said could not have been said with it happening to him. I won’t say anything right now, but with what you said I think I, we, might have to talk to his father.”

“That bad yeah? When you want I can get us a day to talk to him.”

“That would be great.”

Alfred frowned but figured that he wouldn’t be able to get anything more, he shook his head and flattened his face until it looked like he hadn’t heard anything before stepping down on the the last step. He casually walked over to the living room and bent down to get his bad, as he threw it over his shoulder he looked over at the other two people in the room. His dad was still standing though he was by the window now and looking out it with a far away look. Gilbert was also standing, leaning on the wall next to the window with a scowl on his face as he looked down at his phone. 

Alfred raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything and just turned, as he did though a thoughtful look appeared. He knew that he didn’t get all the conversation but what he got did make him question what he knew about Emil. Not that he didn’t already know he didn’t know much but he really wanted to know more. What he got though made him think that maybe he shouldn’t priey, after all Emil apparently went into some sort of state that had both his dad and Gilbert worried enough that they thought they needed to tell Emil’s father. Alfred wondered how Emil would take that information before deciding that it probably wouldn’t end well, to him Emil seemed like the person to like his privacy.


	10. interlude: A fathers worry. A brothers thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have spent way to much time with Emil being sick, five or so chapters I think, and this and the next should be the last one about Emil being sick. I shall also try to make chapters longer. Even if it means chapter updates will take longer. I also might make a fanfiction account or maybe a watpad one. Maybe, but if you randomly see this story up on one of them don't report right then, ask me and I will tell you if it is me.  
> Anyway enjoy this chapter please.

He was sitting in his room, on the edge of the bed looking down at an old family photo. It wasn't in a frame, and the edges were worn from him taking it out of his wallet and putting it back in multiple times. Endride knew that Mathias wasn't in it,  that's why he had folded it so only his youngest was shown, but today he unfolded. Emil was in middle, between him and his ex-wife, and Lukas had decided he wanted to be hugging Emil and so was behind him. They all had smiles on their faces, Lukas smile was a little smaller than everyone else's were but that didn't mean he hadn't been happy. That didn't meant that they were not happy happy. 

 

Looking down at the picture he couldn't help replace the smiles from the younger Emil and Lukas with the expressions from the older ones.  There was no smile on their faces. Lukas didn't smile much these days, he didn't show much of any emotion, he only was starting to get better showing them with Emil around now.  And Emil, well Endride didn't think he had seen him make any face that wasn't tired, disgusted or just blank. When ever he saw his youngest son by himself it was always blank, like he wasn't really there in the present just somewhere in his mind.  

 

Lukas did that sometimes too, but never like Emil. Where Lukas would come to present a few moments later, Endride had watched Emil sit and stare blankly for hours at a time. It worried him, but Emil would never talk to him about something like this. He tried before,  when school was just staring but Emil had gone on the defense, and after he had seen Emil in his room playing his guitar a song that he didn't know but sounded dark. He didn't know when his sweet if shy child went, and left an angry probably depressed teen who wouldn't even tell his family when he was sick.

 

It had to have happen in the ten years that they were apart, when every call Endride had made to him went ignored until just last Christmas. He wondered when things would get better, not gonna long time most likely but it was nice to think about.  Gilbert had told him that Emil would be sick for a few more days most likely but he should be good after that. He had also explained why Emil was at his friends house and not home, apparently they never answered the phone whenever school called. Which was weird because they never got any called, and after hanging up with Gilbert he had called the school to see what was up.  Only to find out that they had the wrong numbers for the family, not to wrong but even having two numbers switched made them call a different one, it was fixed but it didn't mean that he could change the fact that he has didn't come and get Emil. 

 

Endride was glad for Gilbert, if it wasn't for him they most likely would still have know idea where Emil was.  Not only that but also because before they moved he had been good friends with Emil and whenever Endride talked to Gilbert he would find out what Emil had need up to.  Of course that stopped four years ago but still he knew some of what went on in Emily life, not much but it was something. Now if only he could find out what happened when Gilbert wasn't there. 

* * *

Mathias wasn't dumb by any means, he had been top of the class for a reason, but he knew that sometimes he could be a little dense. But over the last months that Emil has been home with them, and he was calling home Emil's home because everyone was here, he knew that something had happened. It was obvious, and yes when dads ex-wife had called to see if they wanted to take Emil in he had heard why she asked. Emil had apparently gotten into to many fights and the Icelandic courts but him in anger management classes along with a place to stay while he was getting them and he was getting out soon but she didn't want him to come back to the same environment that caused him to fight.  That was basically what she said, just a lot shorter and more she didn't want him anymore so take him or he's homeless, but Mathias ignored that for now. 

 

Since he knew this, Mathias looked to see if he could find any anger in Emil, he didn't and promptly called bullshit on what the women had said. No, what Mathias found was tiredness, self-hatred, and working amount of depression. And well, he was always curious and and now that he was worried he actively tried to find out why Emil was like that.  So like anyone his age that wanted information he went to social media. 

 

Emil didn't have much of social media, however Mathias found an Instagram account and looked at it.  What he saw wasn't what he thought that Emil would do, at least the Emil of today wouldn't do it. Mathias had started from after when Gilbert their cousin had moved and lost contact with Emil.  It wasn't pretty, there was no way that Emil was a virgin with all the pictures of him in various states of dress with other people, and Mathias substituted anger management with rehab just based on the pictures.

 

But, why did his dads Ex say anger management classes? After doing more digging, which may or may not have included him looking where said Ex had been most off-the time and who exactly were insane pictures. In the end Mathias figured out that Emil's mom was rarely home and the people in the pictures where people that were just there, which answered why she had said anger management. After all, if Mathias was to guess than Emil never told her where he truly was and what he truly was doing.  

 

It still raised the question of who,  if it wasn't Emil himself, put his baby brother if rehab. His friends, do the people that were in the photos count as friends, were people who looked like they would never put him in one.  So that meant that either Emil went in himself or it was because of something else. But that was as far as he got, Mathias couldn't get into hospital records to see if he was there not could he get into the police records.  And now after classes he was in his way to pick up not only Emil, who was sick god how could he miss that, and Gilbert who wanted to stay with Emil to help. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! MENTIONS OF DRUG USE BOTH PAST AND PRESENT. METION OF PAST DRUG OVERDOSE AND SUICIDE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT WILL HURT YOU! Thank you and I hope no-one ignored my warning. An over view of what happen will be at bottom.

Emil will admit that after the incident as he liked to call it he was very aware of how comfortable he had became in Alfred's house. Which was weird because he was still sort of jumpy at his own place with his father and brothers, it didn't really matter anymore because for the rest of the day he pretty much zoned out, falling in the between stage of just falling asleep but awake enough to move. It was like that for some time until he managed to fall asleep on the couch with Gilbert watching. Emil didn't, well he didn't not trust his cousin, it was just that now he preferred to always have his back facing the wall even when sleeping, he also didn't really like being moved when he was asleep. 

It is for this reason that when he wakes up later he freaks out for a moment, when he realizes that it's Alfred sitting at the desk and not some stranger he relaxes. He's feeling better now, better than yesterday certainly, and he sits up and stretches. He looks down to see he's still in Alfred's clothes and he wonders if he will ever feel like giving them back, probably not as Emil was and still is a clothes thief though lately he hasn't felt like taking some else clothes. Thinking about it he hasn't took any clothes since Vash, and that had been things like socks or jackets, Emil is pretty sure that's still has them in the back of his closet. 

Shaking his head he silently walks over to Alfred and leans over him, he's doing homework some sort of science that Emil won't even try to comprehend that reminds him he will have to make up homework and lessons for missing class. He ends up sighing, right into Alfred's ear causing him to jump and turn. Emil not expecting for Alfred to turn loses his balance and falls, right into Alfred's lap. Emil knows he's blushing, but he tries to ignore it, and the voice in his head that said he should lean up and kiss the blonde male, and wave. It's pathetic but it makes Alfred smile and well that's all he can expect for now. 

Alfred greeted him happily, saying something about being glad he was up and how was he feeling? Emil mumble as he said he was fine and that he should really get up and go home before he freaks his family out. Alfred just laughs and helps him, Emil is not paying much attention what Alfred is saying because he can’t help but be in awe watching the taller boy laugh. To Emil it’s so pure, it’s so Alfred, who hasn’t been through the shit that he had and hopefully never would. In the back of his mind he realizes that Alfred is taking him down stairs and talking about getting dinner before he leaves, that he should walk and not let Alfred practically drag him but he doesn’t care.

When they are finally in the dining room Emil snaps out of his mind and sits down, he is right between Alfred and Gilbert with Matthew in front of his and Francis and Arthur at the ends of the table. It’s peaceful, Arthur ask how he’s doing and Francis tells him that he made some more soup for him to take home. Matthew still smells like weed and Emil ignores it in favor of answering Arthur and saying thank you. Gilbert tells him that they will leave after desert, Alfred tells him that he went and got Emil’s school work for him and he will give it to him before they leave.

Dinner ends and before Francis gets the desert out he and Alfred go back up stairs to get his stuff. Emil shoves the homework into his backpack, turning to Alfred he says he will have the clothes washed before the send of the week and will give them back on Friday. Alfred smiles and pulls him into a hug, and up this close Emil can see how blue Alfred’s eyes were. Emil had always known but now he can see how like the sky it had different shades of blue, how in some parts they were dark as the night sky, how in other parts they were so light that it looked like stars were in them. 

When Alfred sets him down he realizes that he started to blush and looks away, Alfred rubs the back of his neck and says something about how they should get back down stairs when Francis calls for them. Emil can only nod, the only thought in his mind is how he is so fucked. 

The car ride back home is quiet for the most part, Gilbert had the radio on and he’s playing old songs. Emil doesn’t mind, he is to busy thinking about what will happen when he gets home. How will his dad and brothers react, back in Iceland his mother didn’t really care. She would just look him up and down before turning away and telling him that his step-dad made dinner, that was only if she was there in the first place. But father wasn’t mother, he doubted that he would react the same way she would and that frightened him. 

After what happened he hated the unknown, he hated not having control of himself yet he hate even more remembering yet not. That was why he was leery of what his father was going to say, Emil had not doubt that should he be reminded of something from the past he was going to go out. If he found weed or alcohol or even anything harder he knew he wouldn’t say no, it was his go to when he he just wanted to forget. Despite that it had almost killed him before he was sent here, that he had been getting better, that he had better coping methods, he would do it. It was an addiction that he wasn’t sure he wanted to fight, that he wasn’t sure was worth the fight when he already hated himself so much. 

Gilbert pulled in the driveway and Emil lifted his head from the window to get out, he walked to the door and knocked. Gilbert stood next to him, holding his bag in his hand while Emil held the container on soup from Francis. The door opened, and Tina’s head poked out, when she saw him she smiled and opened the door more. She called out that he was there and suddenly the he could hear three sets of footsteps coming from the kitchen. 

Lukas was the first one to show up, his hair was messy the cross pin that usually kept back some of the older boys hair nowhere to be found. Dark eye bags could be seen and the normally cold eyes were sparkling with worry even as Lukas looked blankly at him. Emil held up the soup and held it to him in as some sort apology, not that he was really sorry about not telling them about being sick but he supposed he should be. Lukas looked at the soup then back at him before ignoring it completely except for taking it out of his hands and putting it on the floor before picking him up in a hug. 

It wasn’t long and he didn’t really get to process it before he was picked up and set on the couch and was then lectured about how if he was sick he should have come to Lukas, or anyone in the house his father said as he too started to lecture him, and not ignore it. Mathias joined in and all three of them started to tell him that he was grounded for the rest of the week and how he was now getting a ride from either Mathias or Lukas when it came to school so he wouldn’t get sick again. 

Thirty minutes into the lecture he could see Gilbert starting to laugh at him, Emil glared at him in return, as the three started to just repeat what they already said. Emil couldn’t help but roll his eyes and slouch back in the couch, he focused on his boots, white that stopped around his ankle, to distract him until his family was done. When they were finally done they tried to have him eat before sending him to bed, though Gilbert told them that he already ate. Flopping onto his bed he couldn’t help but miss the warmth that Alfred gave off before blushing and hitting his face against his hand. No, just no. He was going to ignore the fact that he was slowly falling in love with someone who was turning out to be his best friend. A crush he could handle, but it was to cliche for him to fall in love with his best friend. 

Morning came with the sound of Mathias running into his room and jumping on his bed. Emil woke up suddenly and started kicking and punching trying to get free from his imaginary attacker when he saw Lukas with purple hair screaming out Mathias’s name and running into his room. Calmer now, though more confused at what was happening, Emil got up and sighed. 

Mathias was still on his bed, laughing as he clutched his stomach, and Lukas was slowly getting angrier by the minute. Emil shook his head even as stretched and walked to dresser, he wondered if he should take a shower before deciding that he would rather just get dressed. Not thinking of the fact that his brothers were in the room and therefore would see the scars that he had on his back and chest. He striped himself of Alfred’s jacket, there was no way he was getting it back, and his sweatpants before pulling the shirt up and over his head.

He paused when he heard Mathias’s laughter and Lukas’s quiet threats trial off and remember that they never seen his scars. Some were from fights that he didn’t quite win, others were when older siblings found out he took their younger siblings virginity and were angry. Emil was just glad that they couldn’t see the ones on his arms and inner thighs, that would be hell to explain without telling the truth. Emil did not want them to take him to a therapist, he was fine now, he had better coping methods now and he didn’t want to worry his family. 

He quickly grabbed a long sleeve shirt and put it on and changed his underwear before putting on another pair of sweats and turning around with a raised eyebrow. Acting like they didn’t just see his scars he put on socks and a different pair of boots, black that stopped half way up his shin with white laces, and walked out of the room. 

Stopping at the door he turned and asked them if they were ready to drop him off at school before walking down stairs. He set Alfred’s hoodie on the back of a chair before getting a bowl of cereal, he ate quickly and waited in the living room after he heated up the soup that Francis made him and putting it in a thermos. His brothers took longer than he did, he had a feeling that they went to talk to his father about his scars which meant that he was going to have to talk to him about it. Great. 

Walking out to the Mathias’s car and getting in the back, he ignored the looks the two sent him and thought about what he had to do. First he had to track down his teachers, then he should probably find Lilly and Vash before class and tell them what happened. Vash probably wouldn’t care as much as Lilly would and would probably tell him off for worrying the girl but Emil didn’t really care.

Getting to school Emil didn’t bother to say good bye and ignored Mathias yell that he would be he after school as he raced inside. He stopped at his first period class and talked to the teacher and then repeated to find his other teachers and talk with them until he was done. Finally done he went to the school's garden, Lilly was always there in the morning because the student drug addicts were there in the afternoon and Vash refused to have the sweet girl near them. It was a miracle that he let Emil come near her as he knew what he use to do, the swiss boy had dragged him out of some shit before they went on the road trip and then he had to leave. Maybe Vash trusted him in some way or maybe it was because of Lily wanting to be his friend but for some reason Emil was aloud near the girl. 

Walking out of the school and into the land set aside for the garden he spotted the siblings near some sunflowers, the only flowers he would recognized, walked over. Vash saw him first and looked him over, eyes seeing for any weakness or what he would deem inappropriate to be near Lilly. Giving the blond a one finger salute, where Lilly wouldn’t see, he called out a quick hey and braced himself for one of Lilly’s “i was worried about you” hug’s. Vash scowled at him but didn’t do anything beside get up and walk to him  as Lilly flung herself at him to give him a hug. 

Emil put his arms around Lilly and spun her around before setting her down and letting go, if he held on any longer than Vash would definitely try to break his arm or something. Lilly let go and backed away even as she dragged him over to where Vash was standing asking questions like where was he and if he was okay. Letting himself be dragged he answered her questions as best as he could, making sure that Vash could also hear him and knew that he was telling the truth. The truth being that he had been sick and stuck getting taken care of and not in the hospital or on someone's couch passed out after taking drugs. 

They sat on the ground near the flowers, Lilly talking and telling him what he missed as Vash gave him searching looks from where he sat. When the ten minute bell rang, they got up and walked Lilly to her class before leaving her there. Emil and Vash had the same class in the morning and so when ever they walked together with Lilly, which was every morning that he wasn’t with Alfred, they walked to class together. 

it was silent between the two, they had about seven or so minutes to get to class but they walked slow. 

Vash looked at him before looking away and saying in a quiet voice, “That's not you hoodie is it?”

Emil looked down. “No it isn’t. One of my partners in class found me passed out in the library and after my family answered their phones I stayed at their place.”

Next to him Vash twitched, he could read between the lines and after knowing him for a year, a year that was spent seeing him at his worst and at his best, he could hear what he wasn’t saying. Turning to him until he was in front of him and walking backwards, Vash raised an eyebrow silently asking if there was any drugs involved. 

Shaking his head he said, “I had to take some advil or something but I was told that I almost had to go to the hopitale. I’m fine now though.”

Vash face was blank but he didn’t say anything as he started to walk to class right. They were silent again and they walked into class and sat at their seats, Emil was just about to sigh in relief that Vash wasn’t going to say anything when the bot did. 

“So i’m going to guess I will be telling Lily that no you don’t have a boyfriend at lunch.”

Emil whipped his head towards Vash but before he could say anything, something like a what the fuck did he just say, the teacher walked in and told them to start pay attention leaving Emil to sit on what his sort of friend just said. 

#    
  


Emil did not get to corner Vash after class and all he couldn’t just go up to him during lunch as he had already left the school with Lilly. So Emil sat with some people that he didn’t really know but called him a friend. There was Mei, a bubbly happy girl that may or may not be in a relationship with another girl Veronica. Then there was Leon, the closest one that Emil would call a friend and who had got there late because he had been putting firecrackers underneath a chair of a teacher that insulted him. Next to him a Yong Soo who greeted him with a hug and a “Your breast are mine now” that Emil pushing him off and on to the floor. 

The five of them sat outside in the back of the school and talked, or well Mei, Veronica, and Yong Soo talked with Leon butting in sometimes while Emil just say and did the work that he missed. They ignored how Emil and Leon shared a blunt with an older dutch student who Emil was pretty sure was a friend of Mathias but he didn’t say anything. 

Relaxed for a moment he went back inside when lunch ended with the others, Mei and Veronica spraying perfume on them telling him and Leon to “Smell this and tell me if you like it?” Both were coughing, and so was the other people in the hall, before the two were done and left them alone. Emil ignored their giggling as he walked to his class, it didn’t matter at the moment and it covered the smell of weed perfectly. 

Class carried on like usually and then it was his last class of the day which was with Alfred. Hoping that he wouldn’t question why he was wearing his hoodie, or ask for it back, Emil walked in and to his seat. 

#    
  
  


Thankfully Alfred didn’t ask him about the hoodie, instead he asked if he was okay and if it was good for him to be in school at all with how sick he was. Emil didn’t really know himself but said that he felt find, he would have said more but class started and they had to pay attention. And since Alfred had practice after school they didn’t get to talk except planning to get together the next day.

He walked out to the front of the school and looked for Mathias or Lukas, he spotted the two walking over to him and went to meet them halfway. He hoped that they wouldn’t smell the weed on him but decided that if they asked he would play dumb. It would probably work on Lukas who Emil had come to realize hated to see him in a bad light but Mathias might look at him a little weirdly.

Mathias gave him a hug, bringing him in close and ruffling his hair. Emil had to suppress the urge to push the dane away, thankfully Mathias let him go and backed away and Lukas put his arms around Emil’s shoulder. He pushed him off and started to walk to the the parking lot, no doubt that was where the car was. The older males followed, Mathias coming up and ruffling his hair again before walking in front of him and whistling. Lukas wrapped his arm around Emil’s waist, frowning he tried to pull away but Lukas had a tight grip. 

He kept pulling away with no success, Lukas wasn’t letting go. Emil could feel his heart pick up in speed and it took all his composer not to yell at Lukas, instead he grabbed the older man’s hand and twisted his fingers as best as he could. Lukas let go, arm and hand unwinding itself from him and Emil took long steps away from him. Walking a few feet to the side and closer to the road he kept an eye on Lukas, weary of him trying to get a hold of him again.

When they got to the car Emil jumped into the back, throwing his bag onto the floor and and his legs onto the other seats. His brothers got in, Lukas hadn’t said anything since he moved away from him earlier, hadn’t looked at him as far as he could tell. Now however he was giving him look through the rearview mirror, apparently he was driving this afternoon. Mathias started messing with the radio when the car was started, talking about his day and giving little anecdotes about his professors for the rest of the drive home. 

Lukas pulled into the drive and Emil didn’t bother to wait until the car was off before he jumped out. He walked in and started to go up the stairs and to his room when his father's voice called out to him. Pausing he cursed his brothers, he knew they told father about them because what other reason did he have to ask for him. Setting his bag near his door he walked to where his father was standing, at the foot of the stairs and looking up at him. Lukas and Mathias looked at them from the doorway as the two walked by and Emil resisted the urge to scowl at them, they were only worried and went to the one person they thought would help. Though in this case Emil didn’t know if it would really do anything. 

His father lead them into the kitchen, the prime place to be overheard by his brother he couldn’t help but think, and sat down in a chair. Instead of taking one two he hopped up on the counter and stared at his father. His father didn’t move, didn’t tell him to get off or tell him why he asked to talk. Realizing that his father wasn’t going to say anything, Emil pressed his lips together before deciding to get this over with. 

“So what did you want to talk about?”

His father looked uncomfortable as he shifted in his chair before he stilled. He cleared his throat before talking. “Your brothers came to me this morning. They said that you had some worrying scars on your body.”

So that was the way he was going with it. Shifting and crossing his arms he leaned his head back in a board manner and said,  “So? They are old, what about them?”

His father shifted again, probably uncomfortable with the fact that the scars were old. “And where did they come from? They weren’t from..”

His father trailed off but Emil knew what he wanted to ask. He wondered how bad they would react to the truth, before deciding that it didn’t really matter. “Some of them are from fights.”

“And the others?”

_ ‘From depression and self hate that I couldn’t stay clean for more that a day. From when I was trying to live and get better for myself until my therapist told me that it was okay to live and get better for something else until i could do it for myself. From when I wouldn’t doge the hits and cuts and bullets until my step dad asked me to.’ _

He shrugged and said, “Some brothers weren’t happy to wake up with me in their sisters bed.”

A choking sound was heard from the hall, clearly someone was eavesdropping, while it sounded like his father was suppressing a laugh. “Well I hope that I won’t get called to the hospital because of that. However I do hope that you know that I don’t want you to be fighting. It one thing if its in self-defence but if someone is trying to provoke you I expect you to ignore it.”

Emil rolled his eyes, him telling his mother that he was going to anger management clearly had the effect of making his father that he was the one to start the fights. He was proud to say that he never threw the first punch, it was all ways when he was either telling someone to fuck off or when ever he got between some asshole who wouldn’t take no for an answer. And if he happened to provoke the offending person, and did everything except throw a punch, well no one in the house knew that.

“I don’t start the fight, they are the ones that throw the first punch.”

His father hummed which made him angry, his father didn’t really know him sure but the least he could do was trust him when he said he didn’t start fights. Lifting his head up and looking at his father he stared, would it do anything to insist that he never started a fight? Probably not, if anything it might seem like he is lying and that would just make him even more angry. 

Huffing and turned his head to look out side. “Are we done? I have work to do.” 

_ I have to resist the urge to call Leon and get high. _

“No, I want to talk about your health. I need to get you a doctor appointment as you didn’t have one when you came here. Is there anything that you know of that you want to tell me, stuff that the doctor wouldn’t really know until the medical files get here.”

Emil stiffened, a doctor appointment? Shit, that wasn’t good, he knew that his medicale file had the truth. It would say that he had been in and out for drug overdose, attempt of suicide and the reason for all of that. And then his father would know and kick him out because he couldn’t prevent it and he was w _ eak and useless, a sorry excuse for a son- _ No. No he couldn’t fall into that thought pattern, not here with his father in the room. Not when he had just started getting better, when the thoughts were just starting to go away. 

It wasn’t fair, that just a few words could send him spiraling backwards, back to the bad thoughts. The worst part was that it was because of his father that was saying it. A man he hadn’t seen in years, a man that had abandoned him for another when he was younger and didn't bother fighting for him. A man that he still wanted love from because he was his fucking father and thats what all kids wanted wasn’t it? To have and know that your father wanted you. 

“Emil?” 

His name being called out jolted him from his thoughts and he turned back to his father. he was probably glaring but if he didn’t glare that he would show how much he really didn’t want to be here and how much he really wasn’t okay. He hopped off the counter and started walking to the stairs, he needed to get out of here but his family wouldn’t let him leave so a window it was. Before he left the kitchen he told his father that he had nothing to say. His father nodded and told him he was done talking for now but that dinner would be done around seven. 

He ignored that fact that his brothers were in the hallway pretending that they weren’t eavesdropping and walked up the stairs. Mathias called out to him but Emil just waved his hand and said something about taking a nap. Walking into his room he locked it before getting out his phone. 

It was that one that he had with him in Iceland, though he had found a cute black and white puffin like case for it when he had went to the mall last month. Scrolling through his contacts he found Leon’s, labeled as Rice Rice in response to his contact being Ice Ice, and texted him to meet him at the park. 

Leon responded with a “What? No hey?” that he ignored and simply started get his guitar and bag of clothes ready. He would probably end up at someone else house and he didn’t want to get stuck wearing today’s clothing. He shoved his phone charger in his hoodie and lifted his window open. Slipping a leg out he straddled the window sill and carefully slid his guitar case and bag out window before slipping out completely and closing the window. Putting his bag and case on to his back he walked to the back of the house where there was no windows for anyone to see him jump down. 

Carefully he hanged his case and bag in a tree before jumping down and rolling with it, standing up fully he grabbed his stuff and then walked around the house avoiding the windows. Making it out to the sidewalk he casually walked to the park, confidence was the key to not getting asked questions. He made it to the park in in ten minutes and saw that Leon was already there leaning against a car. It was one that he shared with Mei and Yong Soo, no doubt the other two were in the car, he waved at Leon who nodded back and opened up the door. 

Emil got in and Leon came in after him, Mei was driving with Veronica in the front seat, Yong Soo was laying in the back back seat alone. Turning around to look at him he could see that there was bags of candy and cookies from the gas station that was two blocks away. Yong Soo gave him a grin and lifted up a school bag, it wasn’t the one that he used for school Emil knew that, and opened it up. Emil could see that one of the pockets was filled with fireworks while the other pocket had a bong, grinder, and a water bottle in it. 

Emil nodded in aprovel then asked how his test went. Yong Soo said it went fine, though he probably only just passed, it was a pretty good idea for him to have skipped getting high with them at lunch though. Emil nodded but before he could say anything the car came to a stop and he had to hang on so he wouldn’t fall. 

Veronica and Mei cried out that they were finally home and Emil got out with Leon and Yong Soo. There house was huge, it had to be to hold their entire family. Emil knew that the family worked hard to pay for it, the oldest Yao had opened up a chinese restaurant that very successful so he had opened up two more. Another family member was an artist for manga and he knew that Mei was interning at a fashion company sometime after January. 

The thing though about the home was that it was homey in a way one wouldn’t expect a house this big to be. But it was and Emil loved it as it was something he never found, at least if one didn’t count Alfred’s home. Shaking his head he followed Leon up the stairs to his room, which was originally the attic but was changed as a bedroom when Leon moved in. 

Emil flopped onto Leon’s bed after setting his guitar down, his host flopped down next to him and turns the TV on. Yong Soo laid himself down near their feet, the bags of food laying on Leon’s desk and the other one next to it. Mei and Veronica went to go changed and would be up in a minute. After watching some show for a minute, he didn’t know what it was but there was blood and something about titans, he got up and started to pack a bowl, he had calmed down some but that didn’t mean he was going to not get high. Lighting a lighter he said goodbye to being sober, he didn’t wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up somewhere different tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Emil gets home from a ride with Gilbert. Next morning, Mathias and Lukas see that Emil has scares and tell their father. At school we see interaction from Emil and Lilly and Bach, aka and Switzerland and Litchenstine. HK, SK and Taiwan appear with Seychelles. Names in order are Leon, Yong Soo, Mei and Veronica. At lunch Leon and Emil get high. Later after school Emil and his father talk, it upsets Emil and he seeks out and meets up with Leon, Yong Soo, Mei, and Veronica. They go to the Asians house and Emil starts to get hight again. And that's the end of this chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry? I had this chapter done. For like a while but i just never posted it for some reason. Like I even started chapter 13 planning to get it done to night and posting it before Tuesday but now im just going to go Faceplants in embarrassment for a while loll.

Emil was not surprised when he woke up in a bed that was not his, what did surprise him was that he was still in Leon’s room. The early morning sun was shining threw the windows right into his face, he buried his head into what he deemed as his pillow. It wasn’t a pillow in reality, it was too hard to be one and was probably a body, who it was he didn’t know. He sighed, now that he was up he wasn’t going to be able go back to sleep, plus he should be getting himself back home before his family realized he was gone. 

 

He knew that since he had locked the door no one would realize he was gone unless he didn’t come down for breakfast. Pulling himself from his thoughts he sat up and looked around. There was a bottle of rum sitting on the desk and a bottle of vodka was laying on the floor. Both were empty and Emil just barely remembers sharing the vodka with Leon and Mei. Speaking of the two, Mei was curled up with Veronica in one of the bean bag chairs, a thin blanket was the only thing keeping the two from being naked. Emil was next to Leon with Yong Soo on his left, the three of them were naked too, though he didn’t remember if they had done anything. He didn’t think they did, if only because he pretty much hated the thought of sex now and he didn’t think being drunk would change that.

 

He looked down as he felt an arm wrap around his waist, Young Soo looked up at him with bleary eyes. 

 

“Hey,” he said quietly, he voice was rough with sleep.

 

Emil nodded and laid a hand onto the taller boys head. “Hey, you feeling okay?”

 

Emil knew that it probably seemed weird for him to ask but he knew that after a night like they had, even if he could only remember some of it, it was the right thing to ask. In Iceland after a night like this he never had anyone to ask him, not after Vash, and it sucked. He would wake up, feeling sore and with a massive hangover and instead of being help he was only hurt worse. Sure it was partly his fault, he always pushed people away and he only had one night stands so everything was impersonale. But that didn’t mean he liked it, it was just that after being hurt so much he didn’t trust people so much. Maybe it was time to trust a little bit, he could start with Young Soo first then maybe the others and Alfred. 

 

Young Soo nodded, he was sleepy and calmer in the morning than he was when he woke up. “I’m fine, what time is it?”

 

Emil looked around for a clock or at the very least a phone, he found one sticking out under Leon and he carefully slid it out from under him. He clicked a random buttons until he turned it on, a picture of Veronica and Mei popped up so it was probably one of theirs. He ignored it and looked at the time, then let out a sigh thankfully he had time to sneak back in. 

 

“It’s 5:15 now.”

 

Young Soo nodded, he was silent for a moment before he sat up and stretched, the sheet that was covering him fell to his waist and Yong Soo yawned. Emil watched him for a moment before looking away and around the room for his stuff. He was interrupted by a yelp and when he looked Mei was up holding a blanket to her chest with an angry look aimed at Yong Soo. Yong Soo didn’t say anything besides that it was 5:15 and that Veronica had to get home by six if she didn’t want to get in trouble. Mei cursed then turned to Veronica to wake her up, soon they were up and sneaking out of the room to Mei’s to get the rest of Veronica’s stuff while Yong Soo was hitting Leon until he woke up.

 

It was around 5:30 when they all tumbled down into the kitchen, Veronica and Mei already sitting while the oldest of the family was serving food. Emil spotted rice, eggs, bacon, fish, and fruit already on the table. Yong Soo and Leon frog marched him into the kitchen and sat him down, they had both heard his stomach growled up stairs and were determined to feed him apparently. Mei smiled at him before introducing him to “Yao” who though Emil knew of and seen once but had never properly met.

 

Emil shook his hand, pretending like he hadn’t go high in with his little brothers and sister in the attic. Yao patted him on the head, muttering how happy he was that his little brothers and sister had found such a ‘polite young man’ and that he was always welcome to come over anytime her wanted. Emil thanked him, before giving his friends a ‘wth’ look behinds the mans back. They just laughed at him before piling food onto his plate. Assholes, all of them.

 

He ate the food because it was impolite to waste food, it was more than he usually ate and he was pretty sure his friends kept putting more on his plate when he wasn’t looking. By the time they left it was pass six but Veronica shrugged and said she would deal with it. Emil didn’t know what she meant by that but trusted her that she wouldn’t get into to much trouble and slid into the very back of the car. 

 

He hadn’t noticed it before, too busy talking to Yong Soo, but his three friends lived about eight blocks from him, a long walk for someone that wasn’t use to walking. The drop Veronica off at her house, right in front and wait for her to get inside and text them that everything is alright, later they will get the full story either at lunch or earlier in their shared study hall. Emil has them drop him off a half a block from his house, and then walks the rest of the way. Isn't not because he doesn’t trust him, it just that someone was bound to be awake at this time and he wanted to get back in without anyone finding out he was gone. They know that, this wasn’t the first time he had done this and it probably won’t be the last. 

  
  


He gets back in the same way he got out, he climbs the tree in the backyard and gets to the roof before walking to the front, he texts Leon and then waves to them as the drive pass. Their music was blaring, a certain ‘Ice Ice Baby’ coming in loud and clear that has him rolling his eyes but they all saw him. He would get them back later for that, he thought as he opened up his window before sleeping in. 

 

He changed his clothes, he had been busy finding the one from yesterday to think about putting the ones he packed on, and unlocked his door before walking out casually. Making his way down stairs he didn’t pause at the fact that Berwald was sitting there bleary eyed drinking coffee. Since he ate at Leon’s this morning he wasn’t hungry, but he did boil some water for tea and started to make his own lunch for today. 

 

It was a simple lunch, just a few sandwiches, two Nutella and fluff and one Peanut Butter with bananas, a bag of BBQ flavored chips and a two liter bottle of coke. Healthy right. He left his lunch along and dug in his bag, Leon had given him some great loose leaf tea the other day and he really needed it today as he and Alfred were supposed to give a little speech about the person that they were supposed to look up. Thankfully Alfred was more than happy to do most of the talking, so Emil just had to move the power point mostly; he would however have to introduce the person before they started. 

 

He sat with his tea at the table, waiting for one of his brothers to get up and take him to school. He looked at the time, it was 7:15 now, but he promised that he would meet Alfred at 8:00. He was about to get up and go wake up either Lukas or Mathias, or push them to get ready faster, when Berwald spoke. He was surprised as they didn’t talk very often but Brewald was cool in his mind.

 

“Do you need a ride to school?”

 

“Ah sort of. I have a project that I have to do and I said that I would meet my partner at eight.” 

 

Emil shrugged as he answered the older man and took his phone out, he could probably get Leon to pick him up when they drove by later. He looked up when Berwald surprised him by saying he could take him. Emil asked him why and watched him as he waited for his answer.

 

“Have to talk to one of my own professors. Don’t want to be late.”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Emil didn’t have to wait to long, Berwald just put his dishes in the sink and grabbed his jacket before waking to his truck. Emi got in after and the ride to the school was silent, he made sure to text Lukas saying he was already on his way to school but didn’t touch his phone otherwise. 

 

Berwald slowed to a stop when they were in front of the school, already there was kids walking around but it was mostly early risers and people with clubs. Emil went to open the door, a thanks right on his lips when Berwald says something it. It startles him and as he turned he can't help but try to make himself smaller.

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

He tried to pretend that he hadn't heard him but Berwald held his gaze as he says, “If you keep sneaking out do so at a time when you won’t get caught. I won’t tell anyway this time but if I catch you again I will.”

 

He breaths trying to hold back a panic attack, maybe his reaction was a little exstream but the last(only) time he had ever been caught sneaking out of his own home his mother had made him stay out if it was after a certain time. It was what lead him to staying out and finding a bed partner most night if he didn’t crash at a party. It was what lead him getting into bad habits, that lead him getting-. He cut off that train of thought and tried to smile at the bigger man.

 

Lying through his teeth he got out and said, “Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about,” before slamming the door and running inside the school. He didn’t see Berwalds frown of concern nor the way he waited until he was in the school before taking off. Emil didn’t see anything he was to busy getting away to look.

  
  
  


Meeting up with Alfred help calm him down, and they spent the morning going over the lines that the blonde haired boy would say before just talking. Alfred told him how his parents had went out for a date night leaving his and his brother alone. Emil didn’t go into details but said he stayed at a friends for the night before going home to get his school supplies. 

 

Before the bell rang and they parted ways Alfred gave him a hug before leaving him in the library. Emil huffed and rubbed the back of his neck before going to his first class with red cheeks.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by....feelings. By which I mean instead of talking about my feeling to my family I ignored them and wrote instead. Also I have been on a writing kick and going through all my old docs and realised that i still have unfinished fics. Also more ideas have cone to me so there's that too. Anyway enjoy this chapter that didn't take me weeks to finish only to forget to post it.

Alfred walked around campus looking for Emil, wanting to hang out with the slightly older teen. It was their lunch period at the moment and he was in the history department but it seemed that Emil wasn’t there. He sighed and thought about why exactly he wanted to talk to Emil.

 

It had been about a month or so since Emil stayed over when he was sick, and the weather had decided to skip fall and go straight into winter. Snow was called for the day before thanksgiving and Alfred wondered if they would be snowed in for brake. It was one of the reasons why he wanted to hang out with the Icelandic boy. 

 

He started to turn to the door when a young sweet sounding voice called out to him.

 

“Hello, can I help you?”

 

Turning around he saw Vash, a Swiss teenager that Alfred only knew because the had a class together his first year here, and his sister Lili. Both were sweet, Lili more so in public as Vash didn’t like anyone besides his sister as far as he knew and it showed in his scowl. 

 

“Hey Vash, Lili.”

 

Lili smiled, “Alfred, how are you?”

 

Alfred smiled and looked away before he could get shot by the shorter blonde. 

 

“Oh I’m good, just looking for my friend Emil.”

 

He saw Vash raise an eyebrow but he wasn’t sure if it was because he ended up staring at him or if he recognized the name. Lili certainly did as she started to smile and asked for clarification. As in she asked for his last name.

 

“Eh? Emil’s last name is Stilison, why? Do you know him?”

 

Alfred wondered if the two knew Emil because they were neighbors or if the had a class together. He wondered about a lot of things about his new friend but in the end thought to just let his thoughts be. 

 

Across from Lili smiled but it was Vash who answered. “We have a class together and before moving here we lived in Iceland and went to school with him.”

 

Alfred glanced at the shorter blonde. “Oh really? Thats cool, what was he like back than if he changed at all.”

 

Lili seemed to debate with her brother before shaking her head, looking at around to see if they are alone she leans in closer. She doesn’t quite whisper it but it also wasn’t her normal voice. “Emil was a lot different, it’s been about two or three years since we were in Iceland but he has changed.”

 

ALfred watched Vash shake his head before he spoke. “He changed for the good for the most part but I’m not sure how long that will last. My guess is that unless something changes at home then he will start regress.”

 

Lili shoots her brother a startlingly fierce look, Alfred can still see the softness in her face and body language but it doesn’t take away the meaning of her look. 

 

“Don’t go blaming his father or saying such things. Emil is determined to change and yes he could stand to open up a little but he’s trying you know.”

 

“I know Lili but I also know that it will be hard for him and he needs more than just us. And I’m not trying to blame his father but you and I both know that if he had been there than things would have been a little different.”

 

“It would have been, but how different is the question. We don’t know what happened to him after we left and we can’t expect that by Emil’s father being there anything would have changed.”

 

Trying to keep up with what the two were talking about Alfred glanced between the two like they were a tennis match. He couldn’t help but think that the two had forgotten that he was there and were now talking about something that was privet or at least something that he wanted Emil to talk to him about first. He backed away slowly and said a quick excuse before turning and going for the doors.

 

Deciding to put the meeting with the two in the back of his mind he thought to his original thought process. Where was Emil? There was only a few other placed he didn’t check and he only had enough time to look in one of them before he really had to get to class. Taking the next left and then going up the stairs he decided to go up to the music department as it was the closer of the three area’s.

 

He walked down the hallway peeking into classrooms, most of them were empty besides a few teachers and instruments. He was almost getting ready to give up when he finally found Emil. Today Emil was wearing light gray jeans with black work boots and a white hoodie. He was looking out side and he was holding a guitar, Alfred remembered when Emil told him he could play one. Had learned sometime after he turned nine, it was one of the only time he spent with his mother after his parents divorced he was told.

 

Emil hadn't looked happy then, he never looked  _ happy _ really always having a bored or a blank face, but sometimes Alfred could see amusement or a fond expression on Emil.He had seen neither then and a part of him worried but had he pushed more than he already had Emil would have closed up. All he could have done in that moment was ask for Emil to play something for one day.

 

Alfred knocked on the door and walked in, smiling at Emil when he turned to him. Getting a proper look at Emil he saw a slight redness around his friends eye that made him want to frown. He didn’t though asked what Emil was up to.

 

Emil looked back out the window and shrugged, his answer coming out soft and almost unheard. “Just getting away from the masses. It gets to much sometimes, y’know.”

 

Emil’s fingers plucked one of the strings and a low sound carried itself around the room. Alfred stayed silent for a moment not knowing what to say before deciding to wing it. 

 

“Well I’m glad i found you I wanted to talk to you before we went of break.”

 

“Oh?”

 

There was certain tone to Emil’s voice that Alfred couldn’t describe but it for some reason made him want to smile and hug his friend. 

 

“Yeah. It’s Thanksgiving Thursday. I don’t know if you ever celebrated it but every year my family gets together and have a big meal. We eat things like turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, pie, banana bread, cranberry sauce, things like that. I wanted to know if you would like to come.”

 

Alfred started to ramble about how it was going to just be his parents, Mattie, himself of course, and his dad was inviting Gilbert who was bringing his friend Toni who would bring Lovino who would drag Feli. Then Ludwig, Gilbert’s little brother or nephew Alfred wasn’t quite sure, would come along to watch Feli and make sure he would be okay. 

 

“That sounds nice, Alfred.”

 

He looked to Emil who was still looking out the window but he looked less tense, there was a small tilt to Emil’s lips. Emil tone had been soft, and Alfred thought he heard something else in his voice but instead of asking about it he simply nodded. Realizing that Emil wouldn’t see it he said, “It is, so will you come?”

 

“If you will have me.”

 

“Of course Em.”

 

They were silent for a moment, Alfred sat there looking at Emil and then out side. He stop when he saw Emil turn and look at him for a moment  before glancing down at the guitar. Alfred watches as he fiddles with the strings for a moment before he starts playing a tune. It’s not one that he recognizes but he listens anyway. 

 

They stay that way until the school bell rings, and even than they still don’t go to class. Emil taks him up to the roof and Alfred puts a rock between the door so their not lock out.  They’re quiet besides the music and Alfred sits and watches. They will stop when they see other students come out to the lawn, Emil will text his brother saying he has a ride and then Alfred will drive them them both home. But that's for later, for now Alfred will watch and marvel at how at peace Emil looks.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been in a mood for some AmeIce so that's why this chapter is up so quick. That being said, the next few chapters are going to be of thanksgiving, late I now but whatever, before we time skip to Christmas. That i plan to have like a chapter for each character. Maybe double it up like have mathias and Lucas sharing one chapter. Who know? not my muse That's for sure. Now I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Emil is for once alone in the house when he got home. Lukas was visiting a few friends for some club he was in, Mathias was out working and so was his father. Tina was babysitting a few kids and Berwald, he knew, went to pick her up and was going to take he out for a date.

He didn’t know what to do, normally he would go up to his room to avoid his family, especially because he didn’t want to talk to his father when the man got his medicale report. To be honest he really didn’t know when that would be but he really didn’t want to know. Still it had yet to come, or at least his father has yet to talk to him, so he guessed he didn’t have to worry too much.

The thing was, he really didn’t want to go up stairs, not yet at least. He didn’t want to leave, he already had enough social interaction today, and he didn’t really want to invite anyone over. He could do his homework but nothing was really due yet so what was the point. 

He sighed and plopped down on the couch, looking around the room but never focussing on anything he thought about what Alfred had asked. “Thanksgiving” was on Thursday and it was already Tuesday. He was going, he knew that much as he had nothing planned for that day. Even if he had to sneak out, which he had not really done since his talk with Berwald that day. Thinking about Alfred and his question made him think about where he had found him.

It hadn’t been a good day for Emil, his insomnia had started up the night before and he hadn’t slept at all. Then he had gotten a text from the one person he didn’t want to talk to, after blocking the person and then changing his phone number he had to go through the process of telling everyone he had changed it. At school he was paranoid and couldn’t focuse at all. It ended with him having a panic attack by lunch and fleeing to one of the many music rooms the school had.

Emil was thankful that he had taken his guitar to school this morning even if his brothers had given him looks. It was the only thing he had to calm him down at the moment. it reminded him of better times, of when his mother and him could be in a room and be happy. It also reminded him of when he was happy with his family. So yeah he was glad he had his guitar. 

Maybe after he calmed down he should have made his way to class, but he felt to much like shit and didn’t want to move. Then Alfred came and he definitely should have started making his way, but he didn’t. Because for some reason Alfred had cheered him up, and some part of him had only wanted to stay with Alfred. So he got up and walked to the roof, Alfred in tow not making a sound of protest.

After the break he will have to come up with a reason for why the two weren’t in class. But he didn’t really care, because he would be with Alfred and his family for this Thanksgiving. Where there will be food, and people but he wasn’t thinking about that.

Hmmmm, food. He got up and started to go into the kitchen, the clock said it was about five. Dinner was usually around eight or so but he was hungry now. He could make a snack for now then maybe make something for dinner. Maybe make something for Alfred as thanks. He nodded to himself and looked up what sort of things that were served during this dinner on his phone. 

 

Three hours later and he glared at the, dirty, dishes he had used to make lasagna in the sink. by the time he had picked out what he wanted to make he had to start making dinner. Making dinner wasn’t the problem really, sure it was something that he really didn’t want to do but he could do it. No, what got him frustrated was the fact that he would have to go out to the store as for some reason they didn’t have cinnamon or cocoa powder. 

Emil could understand not having potato starch as no one in the house used it often or at all, but not having cocoa powder just didn’t make sense to him. Still when he was waiting for dinner to bake he decided to go around the kitchen and make a list of what else they needed since he was already going to the store. There wasn’t much that they needed but since he was going to use it up he thought that he should get some more fore tomorrow.

When dinner was done he turned the oven off and left it in the oven so it would stay warm should any of his family get home before him. Unlikely as whenever his father and brother worked they didn’t get home before nine-thirty, and his brother texted him about seven saying that he was roped into being the driver for a few of his friends. Still it was fine and it gave him more time to shop and cook. 

 

Getting to the store was easy, there was one three or so blocks away from home, and so was getting and buying the stuff. The hardest part was probably getting the bags back home but using a few of the cloth bags that the store selled worked just fine. They were big and he was careful not to put anything delicate on the bottom.

Like he thought, no one was home, and after he put everything away he started to cook. When he got to the store he decided he wanted to make a few more things for home so he ended up getting more than he probably should have. Emil didn’t really care and turned on some music, he planned to make some pancakes-Icelandic style-, a Slongukaka and Cocoa soup. 

He hadn’t made some of them in a while, mainly the Slongukaka and the pancakes, because he never felt the need to. But talking with Alfred had made him miss the taste of home and so here he was making food.

 

Endride slowly parked behind Berwalds truck and shook Mathias and Lukas up. He was hungry and tired form the days works and all he wanted to do was rest but he knew he would have to make dinner for everyone. He wasn’t sure if Emil was still up or if he had even eaten, Emil had a bad habit of not eating if he was alone he had come to find out. 

He opened the door and music poured out, it was coming from the kitchen it seemed and as he looked around he saw Tina and Berwald looking in the kitchen. Mathias came up besides him on his left while Lukas took the right. There was no sign of Emil and as the three of them walked to the kitchen they could see why.

Emil it seemed had taken over the kitchen when they were all gone. There was a large pot on the stove and what looked like slongukaka on one of the counter. That wasn’t what got his attention though. It was Emil that did.

Emil was wearing what he had on this morning but he had clipped his hair away from his eyes and was singing to the music. Bouncing on his toes as he worked he looked completely at peace, Endride was reminded of when Emil was a kid and would bake with his mother. 

The music slowed down and a more soft tone of music came on, Endride listened close as instead of quietly singing to himself he became a little louder.

“Take my hand….”

Emil’s voice was softer than he had ever heard since he had come to live with them.

“Won’t let you fall down…”

Emil swayed with the music.

“And now's our moment….”

From the angle he was at Endride could see Emil had his eyes closed and a small smile on his face. He started to sing part of the chorus.

“Cause lovers dance when they feeling in love.

Spot light shining, it's all about us!

It’s all all all all, about ouhhhhh.

And every heart in the room will melt

This is feeling I’ve never felt but,

It’s all all all about us.”

Endride smiled as his youngest son sang along to the music, looking to the others he shook his head. Mathias and Lukas were videotaping Emil with smiles while Tina had somehow gotten Berwald dancing with her. He shook his head and decided to change out of his work clothing before he could witness the disaster of Emil finding out that they saw him. That was one thing he did not want to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I have email singing to is "All about us" by we is king I beliclve the band is call..If not I will change it. Oh also, the food in here is stuff that I fouled,on like the slongukaka means snake cake and looks good so that was why I picked it. So the the cocoa soup. And to me pancakes are awesome so why not.


	15. Chapter 15

Alfred tried his best not to wait by the door for Emil, but it was hard not too. He was excited that his friend was coming over, never mind that it was getting later in the day and already most of the other guest had arrived. His dad and Gilbert were talking in the living room, Gilbert was occasionally dragging Ludwig in and asking him question, while his papa, the Vargus brothers, and Toni helped cook in the kitchen. His brother was still out having been asked to get some last minute ingredients.

 

He tried to talk to Ludwig, they talked about cars and some science, but occasionally he would look to the door while Ludwig looked to Feli.Alfred didn’t know if the two were a thing or what but for once kept his questions to himself. When he heard a knock at the door he was the first one to it.

 

Opening he grind when he saw Emil. Emil was wearing tan colored skinny jeans with a white button up under a hoodie, the boots he was wearing today were black with purple laces that came to his knees. He looked adorable in Alfred opinion but he wasn’t going to say anything. Emil held out a large pan and Alfred took it with a grin and asked him what was in it.

 

“It’s something that I use to make in Iceland. I wanted to make something as thanks for inviting me. It just needs to be heated up on the stove before anyone wants any.”

 

Emil crossed his arms and looked to the side. Alfred smiled and moved to the side to let the white haired teen in.

 

“Thanks, I’m sure we will love it, I’ll go put it in the fridge.You want to go to the living room and hang out with Gil and Ludwig? My dad’s in there too if you want to talk about tea or whatever he finds interesting.”

 

He smirked as he thought about the fact that his dad as perhaps the most boring man he met. At least to him but he had long since come to terms that he and his father simply had different likes. Before last year he had hated his father or at least made it seem like that. In reality Alfred was just trying to get his father to stop trying to get him to like what he did. There was a lot of fighting that didn’t really stop until last year when his papa had made the two go to some sort of therapy and talked it out with a neutral party to mediate their talk. 

 

Alfred didn’t like to think what would have happened if they hadn’t worked it out, he could see him walking away when he turned eighteen and not talking to any of his family and friends. Not that he had much, but Alfred will admit, if only to himself, that if he was angry enough  he would disown himself to prove something. 

 

Alfred was brought out of his thoughts when he walked into the kitchen and Feli asked what he had in his hands. Glancing down he remembered why he was in the kitchen. He moved over to the fridge and tried to find room for the pan as he answered. 

 

“Emil is here, and he brought some sort of desert for us as thanks. It’s something he would make in Iceland he said. Needs to be heated up before we have it though.”

 

Alfred stood up and turned to his papa. “It doesn’t look like its frozen just cold so it shouldn’t take too long to warm up.”

 

His papa smiled and nodded from where he was preparing some sort of salad. Alfred thought it looked like potato salad but couldn’t be fore sure. Still he nodded to the others and thanked them before walking out. They didn’t need him there to clog up their space and he wanted to talk to Emil and show him the diner table before they sat down.

  
  
  


They sat down to eat around four. His papa and dad satat the ends of the table while he and Mattie sat on opposite sides on the table by one of their fathers. Alfred had Emil sit next to him with Gilbert next to him so that he was at least near someone that he knew. Next to Gil was Toni who was sitting by his papa and across from Mattie who was next to the oldest of the Vargus brothers, Lovino. After Lovino was Feli then Ludwig which Lovino wasn’t happy about but put up with it because he didn’t want to sit near the hulking blond.

 

Alfred was happy that everything was going well, and with everything going so well something had to go bad. It was halfway through dinner, the food was good and though there was food from different countries like pasta it was the best, when Emil had gotten a call. Alfred knew that he didn’t have it on him at the table as all except his dad and Gilbert had their phone on them. So when the phone rang he was confused, Gilbert and and his dad and taken their phone out to check if it was them but it wasn’t.

 

It was when Emil had gotten up and apologized that he realized who’s phone it was, Emil had told them to continue eating, that he was only going to check and see how it was. As one of the closest to the living room door he could hear Emil answer her cell phone. He spoke in a different language that Alfred guesed was his native language, looking around he saw that only his dad and Gilbert were paying attention.

 

Gilbert had a look on his face that made him wonder if he knew what Emil was saying or at least part of it. His dad had a conserved face like he didn’t think that this phone call would be good, Alfred didn’t think that his dad knew Icelandic so maybe it was his doctor instinct. Still he wasn’t too concerned about them when Emil’s voice was slowly getting louder and harsher.

 

“Mér er alveg sama. Þú færð ekki að segja neitt. Ekki lengur.” Alfred heard Emil say, his tone so cold and hard, before he walked back in.

 

Emil tried to give him a smile but his eyes were shiny like he was trying to stop himself from crying. Alfred watched him sit down, there was a lifeless look in his body and it worried him. Emil fiddled with his fork and pushed around his food. Alfred grabbed his hand under the table and waited for Emil to look at him. When he did, Alfred asked him in a quiet tone if he was okay. 

 

“Truly Emil, are you okay.”

 

Emil looked at him before looking down and at their hands before looking around the room. Looking at him Emil smiled, it was stronger than it was before. 

 

“I will be. Maybe not at the moment but I will be. Just giving me a few minutes, okay. Please?”

 

Alfred looked at Emil and nodded. “Okay, take your time. I will be here if you ever want to talk.”

 

“I know. Thank you Alfred.”

 

He couldn’t help but feel like Emil was thanking him for something that he didn’t know, but he still nodded. He turned back to his dinner with a smile on his face, and Emil did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Emil was on the phone towards the end what he said was basically that he didn't care and that who was on the other line didn't have a say anymore. All in, of course, Icelandic but I used Google Translate so if it is wrong blame that.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay to start this off. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED ABOUT RAPE, TALKING ABOUT RAPE, TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE OT THE MENTION OF IT. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. I WILL POST ABOUT WHAT THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT DOWN BELOW BUT FOR YOUR SAFETY PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay if this wasn't obvious I will say that this chapter has the talking of rape. it is mentioned a few times and I do not want anyone to read if they will be triggered. I do not condone rape, think it is okay in anyway and I wish that rape would never happen. 
> 
> Now that that is over, this was and wasn't a hard chapter for me to write. I didn't plan to go this route with the chapter. In fact, after this chapter, I was supposed to go straight into the Christmas arc which I planned to be more than the Fall arc. There was suppose to be something about Holloween but I just didn't get into it as much as I thought so I guess the arc was more of a Thanksgiving arc? Anyway, after the last chapter, I started this and probably had about three hundred words before giving up because I wasn't feeling it and worked on something different. Then I can back to it today, yeah you head me I sat and just wrote most of this in a sitting, put on some music and typed. And this chapter happened.
> 
> Anyway, if anyone does read this chapter please enjoy about it as much as one can.

Emil didn’t mean to be upset about his mother’s phone call. But to have her call and act like she cared. Still, the fact that she called and immediately went to the one topic that he had never wanted her to know about, that he had tried to make sure she never find out about it, concerned him. How she found he didn’t know, but he wondered if she would tell his father. 

 

He didn’t really think she cared enough to tell him but she surprised him with calling him so maybe she did. However when he went home, his dad didn’t say anything. Instead he asked if he had fun hanging out with Alfred when he walked into the kitchen the next morning. 

 

After dinner Emil had helped Arthur get the the deserts ready, warming up what he brought and alternating between gathering clean plates and washing spoons and forks. Emil was glad that everyone at least tried the cocoa soup, Gilbert exclaimed that he remembered having this when he would come over when they were younger. It brought back memories of when he and his mother could at least pretend to be a happy family. 

 

Emil hadn’t said anything just handed him his cup and sat down next to Alfred on the couch, taking bites of what Arthur had said was called Eton mess. It was good with the strawberries and he wondered if he could get the recipe before he left. 

 

By the end of the night almost everyone had left, the only ones that had stayed being Gilbert, Ludwig and him. Ludwig couldn’t leave until Gilbert did and Gilbert was talking to Arthur about something that had to do with their hospital. Emil didn’t know what as he tuned the too out pretty soon after they started talking.

 

Emil on the other hand had walked to Alfred’s and wasn’t sure on how he was going to leave. It was around nine and the walk was about thirty minutes back. He knew that should he try to leave someone would ask if his ride was here. Then he would have to tell the truth and say no. 

 

Emil sighed and then decided to just tell Alfred he was leaving. Alfred was falling asleep next to him and so would probably not ask to many questions. He glanced at him and smiled to himself as he saw how peaceful the other looked. He whispered he was leaving and would see them at school before laying a blanket on him. 

 

Emil walked into the kitchen and to Francis who was putting away the leftovers that they had. It wasn’t much as they had given some to the others that had come but there were still some. Emil helped the older man with the fridge door and thanked him for having him over. Francis shook his head and gave him hug as he said it was no problem. 

 

Emil didn’t know what to think about the hug but shook it off and told him goodbye before walking out of the kitchen and sneaking passed the living room. As he walked out the door he cursed the snow that had come down the day before. It would melt later if the weather decided to get warmer but for now he was stuck walking in it. 

 

Emil got home around ten having stopped at an opened gas station and grabbed a coffee both for the warmth and the energy. Walking in he was quiet as he didn’t want to wake up anyone that was asleep. He went to bed as soon as he was in his room, never bothering changing into pajamas.

  
  
  


School started Monday and as he walked to halls he wondered when the other shoe would drop. He was nervus, so he instead of going to to meet Lilly and Vash in the garden like he planed he took a turn and made his way to the back of the school. Maybe Leon would be there with Yong Soo and the others maybe he wouldn’t but he couldn’t care at the moment.

 

Moments later he drops his bag to the ground and falls with it. He practices the breathing exercise the doctor had gave him telling himself that it will be alright. But he knows himself and in the back of his mind a voice laughs and tells him he’s full of shit. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, and memories from before develop in his mind.

  
  
  
  


_ He’s fourteen and there’s a boy in front of him with a sneer on his face looking down on him. He hasn’t talked to Gilbert since his family moved somewhere in America last year and he’s been so alone. Still he tries to ignores the boy because he knows that he was only trouble. However when he makes a comment about his father he can’t stop himself. _

 

_ Anger fills him and one moment he’s sitting on the bench and the next a fist is making its way to the shooked would be bully. _

  
  


_ The scene changes but he’s still fourteen. There’s a teen in front of him, long hair and older than him, she’s beautiful in the way freedom is beautiful to a torchered prisoner. She holds a cigaret in her fingers and there is temptations in her smile.  _

 

_ “Would you like a smoke?” _

 

_ Her voice carys despite the loud music and he feels like everyone is looking at him. He thinks about all the other things he could be doing at the moment. In his room listening to his mother rant about him, before going out with her friends and getting drunk. He takes a lighter and nods, and though he coughs at first he doesn’t stop. _

  
  
  


_ He’s older now, and he sits on the floor on his room listening to the happy family his mother and stepfather have between the two of them. There’s a bottle of mothers vodka in front of him half empty and he looks at it with anger. It has been two weeks since Vash and Lilly left and though he had been doing better it seemed that he was sliding back into old habits without them. Or maybe it was because he was still here and having how much a disappointment he was to his fucking family. He huffs a self-deprecating laugh, yeah it wasn’t because he was a pathetic waste of space that regularly smoked and drinked ever since he was fourteen. Maybe he was both and he just couldn’t tell the difference anymore. _

 

_ He gets up and walks out of the room, he goes by the kitchen and stops just for a moment before turning and walking out the front door. He couldn’t see the happy face of his mother anymore, not when it was clear that she could be happy with a man she only knew for a few weeks but not with her son. _

  
  
  


_ He wakes up and there is white all around him. There's beeping to his right and foot steps to his left. He turns his head as a nurse walks in and calls out for her though his voice his groggy. She turns to him and looks at with something in her eyes as she ask how he is doing. After she’s done she says a doctor will come in and talk to him, then there are some people that want to talk to him. _

 

_ He nods as he sits up and waits, the doctor comes and goes, tell him he’s in there for drugs and alcohol poisoning. He can’t help but question who brought him in but the doctor just tells him he will know in a minute. Then two police officers come in. _

  
  
  


Emil opens his eyes, breath heavy and hot tears on his face. He’s still alone and brings his legs to him and wrapped his arms around them. He lays his head on his knees and tries to simply not  _ think _ but can’t. Memories of being told what happened, of what little he could remember happening that night just wouldn’t leave him. 

 

Thoughts of what he could have done,  _ should have done, should have seen _ , come to mind and with it all the hate in him. About the world, his family, and what had happened to him. But most of it about himself.

 

**“Should have died a long time ago!”** A voice that sound like his mother when she was drunk and thinking about his father yells at him and he  _ just wants it to stop. _

  
  
  
  


Endride is at work when he gets the two phone calls. He’s filing papers when his assistance walks in and tells him that his ex wife is on the phone. He can't help but sigh and wonder what she wants now. Still he nodded and takes the phone from the man and sits done at his desk.

 

“Averyanov speaking.”

 

“Endride. We need to talk. It’s about Emil.”

 

He straightens up, not only at his sons’ name but at Emiliana’s serious tone. 

 

“I have been meaning to call you early but I thought that I should have some tact when it come to telling you however nothing i came up with sounded right.”

 

Endride frowned as she started to ramble, about how it should be her who tells him and not a doctor but that she only just found out recently too.

 

“Emiliana what are you talking about? What should I not found out because a doctor told me?”

 

“Emil was almost rape.”

 

Emiliana blurted out and in a rush she started to tell him that she only found out because Emil’s doctor wanted her to know that Emil’s treatment and medication would have to be transferred to America. However he wasn’t paying attention as he stared at the phone in his hand trying to process what she said.

 

“Wait! What? Start from the beginning.”

 

Emiliana stopped and took a deep breath before starting over in a much softer and slower voice. 

 

“It was about wednesday I think when I found out. I had been at home just getting lunch when Emil’s doctor had called and said he wanted to talk to me in person. So after I hung up I went over, I thought maybe this was about transfering the files over to you and your family doctor. And in a way I guess it was but anyway I got there and he asked me if I was alright with Emil continuing his treatment in America or did i think that it would be okay if we stopped it.”

 

“I was confused because what treatment? And why didn’t they tell me about it right? Then the doctor looked at me and said that Emil said he wanted to tell me himself and he thought that Emil told me about the therapy.”

 

Endride could here her take in a deep breath and wondered where she was, it sounded like she was about to start to cry.

 

“When I asked what Emil said he would tell me he sort of paused before asking me if I even knew that Emil had been in the hospital at all. When I told him that Emil said that he was going into Anger Management but nothing else He, the doctor that is, said that Emil wasn’t in there but in rehab!”

 

“What?” He couldn’t help but interrupt her but why would Emil be in Rehab and not in anger management?

 

“That's what I said but apparently he was in her because he overdosed a couple of times after he was almost raped! Not only that but but he was also in for suicidal thoughts and trying to Act on them. This was the first time I even heard about any of this.”

 

Endride took a deep breath to get his own anger about the doctor and this entire situation under control. Just as he was about to ask her more about the situation a thought came to him.

 

“What about this rape? Why weren't you told by the police if Emil went to the police?”

 

Emiliana was quiet, there was no more loud anger.

 

”When I asked to police after I left they said the same thing, That Emil said he wanted to be the one to tell me. They said that to protect Emil they didn’t say any names in court and in the newspaper.”

 

“Endride, they said, they said that their officers walked in on them right before they actually went in. God Endride, he was out cold when they walked in. Fucking roofied they said.”

 

It was silent between them as he thought what to say. What could he say? What did one say after finding out that your son, the same son you saw just this morning,was almost fucking- He stopped and let go of the pencil that just snapped in his hand. 

 

That when the school called and as he told Emiliana that he needed to go he hoped that nothing was seriously wrong. That Emil just got in trouble for skipping a class or something simple. 

 

As the principal said “Mr. Averyanov I’m sorry to be having to tell you that your son Emil is in hospital for-” he silently wondered if his son would get a brake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place after Thanksgiving and sets the tone for the next couple of chapters. Emil goes back to school and the thoughts and feeling he has had since his mother called, that was the phone call he had in the last chapter, has piled up and he ends up going into a panic attack at school in the morning before class. There are a few memories about his past like just before he gets in a fight with a would-be bully, the first time he smokes, just after Vash and Lilly left, and one of him waking up in the hospital. shortly after the memories are over we cut to Endride, Scandi or Emil's dad, who is at work when he gets a call from Emil's mom, AKA Emiliana AKA the ex-wife.
> 
> This is when he gets told about Emil and what happened before he comes to America. The talk between the two is just about Endride getting told. However, after he gets told he gets a phone call by the school that Emil is in the hospital. This is where we cut off.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you have a chapter done but forget to post it. Whoops. Okay but reallty I have had this chapter done for a bout a week and forgot I have it. In my defence a lot of stuff has been happening to me. I moved got a new job and other stuff. So yeah anyway this chapter is in other people's point of view. Lilly's Lukas' and Alfred's. Just deals with what others are thinking. We get some backstory about Emil from Lilly and Lukas' remembers some stuff.

Vash was quiet. Lilly was worried because while her brother was usually quiet he was never this quiet. But Vash sat still in his chair, no emotion on his face as he stared down at his hands. Lilly had to remind himself that this was a normal reaction from someone who had just stopped their friend from taking their own life. 

Lilly remembers worrying about Emil when he didn’t come to their spot to meet them. Despite that she was never told about how bad Emil could get she knew that he had problems. With drugs, with self esteem, with family. But Lilly never cared, not really, Emil was her friend. She remembered when they were still in school, shortly before the three of them went on a road trip when Vash brought home Emil. 

It was late on a Friday, Lilly had convince Vash to watched a movie with her. But Lilly had fallen asleep and when she had woken up later Vash was cleaning up Emil in the kitchen. Emil had been beaten up so bad she thought that he needed to go to the hospital but in the end it wasn’t her choice, it was Emil. Maybe that was why When Emil asked them if they wanted to go around Iceland she said yes, she never wanted to see Emil like that again.

But it seemed that the world didn’t care what she wanted because two hours ago she and Vash walked behind the school to find Emil. Emil who was having a panic attack and was trying to hurt himself. Emil who was her friend, another brother to her, and now he is here in a hospital while she waited with her brother. To see if the boy that warmed his way into their heart would live through this. Lilly hoped so, she didn’t think her brother, who was careful about who he let in, would handle it well if Emil didn’t. She certainly wouldn’t.

 

Lukas was always quiet. From the time he was a baby he was quiet, only crying out if he had a nightmare. But Lukas had never been this quiet. Not this silent, with his eyes blank, not seeing anything that was there. Lukas didn’t care, couldn’t care, if he worried his family because his little brother was hurt. hurt to the point that no one was sure if he would make it. 

It hurt Lukas to think that his little brother would be gone. Gone and never seen again. Lukas still remembers when they were little, Emil would follow him around with a smile on his face so happy just to be there with him. Calling Lukas Big Brother and giving him all the hugs he could. Lukas only just got back his brother and now he could be taken away from him again. 

 

He was young and in a hospital. Uncle was there with him because father was in a room with mother. He was getting a little brother today and so he ignored the fact that one of his cousins was trying to chew on his hair. Lukas kicked his feet missing the floor by an inch because he wasn’t that tall just yet. 

It’s been hours already and when he asked his uncle how long it took for him to get a little brother his Uncle said it could take time. It didn’t answer his questions but he didn’t ask again, he figured that this was one of those things only adults were supposed to know. 

When the doctor comes out with his father Lukas runs up to him listens as the doctor tell them that his mother could only have a few visitors at a time and only for so long. Lukas doesn’t really care about that, he just wants to see his new baby brother. 

And when his father sat him down on a chair and put a tiny thing with whitish hair in his arms he knew that his life would change.

 

His life changes again when his dad gets a call and is informed that he has another son. Another son who is only a little older than Lukas is himself, his mother gets mad though Lukas doesn’t really understand because the other son was before father met mother. 

Lukas thinks he understands why when he finally meets the boy because he takes up his time with his little brother and is too happy and cheerful. It’s a lie though because Lukas knows he cries at night when everyone else is asleep and he doesn’t understand why. He still doesn’t understand why when he's separated from his little brother but he thinks he knows why.

 

Emil would be turning seventeen when his life changes again. This time Lukas thinks it is for the better because it’s a good thing in his mind. His little brother will be coming to live with them. He hasn’t seen his little brother in so long and he wonders what he will look like. Will he still have bright eyes framed by long eyelashes? Will he still call him big brother? He doesn’t know and he wants to. 

He won’t know until he gets here though and Lukas knows that. He just can’t help but be jealous when it is Mathias that picks Emil up. That Mathias is the one that Emil sees first. When Lukas gets out of classes he drives home, Emil will probably be there by then and when Lukas walks through the door he looks around for his brother.

He’s there, sitting on the couch with their father sitting next to him asking questions. He sees Mathias sitting on a chair playing video games but his focus is on Emil. Emil’s hair is longer, sitting on his shoulders and looking more silver than it was ten years ago. He wears black pants that hug his legs and a simple purple hoodie. He looks like a punk and Lukas is pretty sure he sees a hole for a lip piercing. 

It doesn’t matter though because Emil is his brother, he wonders though if he was the only one to see the slightly dead eyes that Emil had.

 

Now his life changes again because his brother is in the emergency room and has been for hours by now. Lukas looks around the room. Father is on the phone pacing around, Lukas is pretty sure that mother is on the other end but he doesn’t ask. Mathias sits next to him with Berwald and Tina on the other side of him. A little away from them are the two people that found him. Both had short blond hair though female had a bow in her hair. 

They were the ones that had save his little brother and he knows he needs to thank them. When he calls for them however, what comes out is “Did you know my brother before this.”

He wants to hit himself because that was not what he wanted to say but he can’t take it back now. So he watches as the girl look over while her brother? friend? just sits and stare at his hand. Lukas can relate as that is what he wants to do right now. 

“Your Emil’s brother yes? One of them at least?”

She answers him with a question and if this were any other situation he would have snapped at her but he can only nod and introduce himself. Then he introduces Mathias and the others because they probably wouldn’t think to do so.

The girl nods and puts a hand out, “I’m Lilly and this is my brother Vash. And to answer you question Yes we did know Emil.” She sighs and looks away before continuing. “A few years ago we moved to Iceland and ended up in the same area and school with Emil too. It was a pleasant surprise that we got to see him again after we moved.”

Lukas thinks on that and says, “So you knew him well than. Will you tell us what he was like back than? He won’t tell us anything.”

Lilly is silent and for a moment he thinks he won’t get an answer but he does. It just doesn’t come from her. No instead it comes from her brother. Her brother who looks like he wouldn’t hang out with his brother.

“Emil was a flirt. He was always getting in trouble for flirting, whether is was with kids that had over protective family or even the teacher. He was kind though. Showing us around, telling us place that were great to go to.”

Mathias started to pay attention and asked, “Kids?”

“Girls or guys.” The boy looked over to them with a raised eyebrow. “Emil is pansexual, he never told you?”

“No, like Lukas said, Emil won’t tell us anything about when he was in Iceland.”

“Oh.” 

It’s quiet from then on, father sits down, thanks the two for saving Emil before turning back to his family. Lukas hears him mutter about needed to call uncle, tell him what happened. Then a loud blonde kid comes in with his cousin Gilbert on his heels. 

 

Alfred thinks his heart stops when his dad tells him that Emil was in his hospital and that Gilbert was picking him up. It is fourth period but he doesn’t care, he still tells the teacher that he is getting picked up. He walks out the door and to the main office without listening to what the teacher was going to say. 

Gilbert is there when he gets there and is trying to convince the secretary that yes he is there for him, one talk with his dad over the phone handles that and the two are on their way. He gets Gilbert to tell him what he knows which isn’t much but it still is something. He feels his heart break in a million pieces though. 

Because Emil tried to kill himself, though two students end up stopping him. He wonders what Emil was thinking when he tried and almost doesn’t want to know. He is quiet until they get to the hospital and when he is there he ignores everyone but the secretary. It’s Sakura how was a good friend of his dad and papa and knows him. That is probably the reason why she doesn’t startle when he slams into the desk and ask where Emil is.

“And your relationship with Mr. Stelison?”

Alfred can’ help but give her a look because he knows that the few times he was here he had talked about Emil. Still he rolls his eyes when he gets a look back and say, “Best friend and Gilbert here is his cousin.”

Sakura looks at Gilbert before look across the room. Alfred follows her sight and see her looking at a man with white hair. He reminds him of Emil and as the man comes closer he hears Gilbert call him uncle. Right Gilbert and Emil are cousins, so this is most likely Emil’s father.

“Gilbert, how are you?” Emil’s father tone was calm but he sounded tired.

“I’m good Uncle. How is Emil? Arthur the doctor that took over for him called me.”

Emil’s father frowned and asked how he would know to call him. Realizing that he didn't’ know Alfred stepped in. “Arthur’s my father sir. I’m Alfred Emil’s friend. He was over at my house when he got sick. We found out that Gilbert and Emil were cousins when he had come over when Emil has at my home. Dad called Gil to come pick me up after he found out about Emil.”

Emil’s dad looked at him and nodded. From there he told them what he knew about Emil which wasn’t much. As far as he knew Emil was still getting cared for. He had lost a lot of blood and was cut up a lot. One of Emil’s arteries was cut and as far as he knew that was giving the doctors a problem.

Alfred sat near Vash and Lilly as he semi knew them and made Gilbert sit between him and Emil’s family. No offence to them but he really didn’t want to get to know them in a hospital. He sat back in his chair and hoped that Emil would be okay. He didn’t know what he would if Emil died. Alfred loved him and-. Wait. Loved? When did that happen?

Alfred closed his eyes and thought. he wasn’t one to think about feeling unless they hit him right in the face but with Emil he had to think. Because if he was wrong about this being love and not some other emotion that that would hurt Emil. And Alfred did not want to hurt him. 

Alfred though of all the things he did with Emil. All the moments he had with him. He let Emil take and keep his hoodie even when it was three sizes too big. Emil had looked cute in it and he had thought that maybe it was something that friends thought. but know looking back on it that wasn’t what friends thought about each other. 

Was that when he fell in love with Emil. No? Maybe it was all the little things that added up. Like when Emil laughed when they were working on their project and Alfred said something funny. Or when Emil had played the guitar for him. 

Alfred put his head in his hands and suppressed a groan. Somehow along the way he had fell in love with his best friend. It was such a cliche he wanted to bang his head but he didn’t. He ignored the look that Gil that gave him and thought about what he was going to do.

Should he tell Emil? No. For one Emil was in the hospital and just tried to kill himself. There was no way that Alfred could tell him. Not yet at least. He would have to tell him when he was better. That way Emil could heal and Alfred could figure if this was going to be something that would past quickly or would be a long term thing.


	18. No one (was there to listen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emil wakes up and talks to his father. basically, Emil's father asks about the new information he gets from Emil's mother aka what had happened when Emil's mom called Emil's dad and Emil sort of breaks down. It ends with Emil's father holding Emil in a hug and Emil falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay to start this off. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED ABOUT RAPE, TALKING ABOUT RAPE, TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE OT THE MENTION OF IT. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. I WILL POST ABOUT WHAT THIS CHAPTER IN THE CHAPTER SUMMERY BUT FOR YOUR SAFETY PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay if this wasn't obvious I will say that this chapter has the talking of rape. it is mentioned a few times and I do not want anyone to read if they will be triggered. I do not condone rape, think it is okay in any way and I wish that rape would never happen.

He opens his eyes and sees white. There is a beeping sound to his right and when he looks over he sees a heart monitor. He can’t feel anything. Not emotionally at least. Sure he feels the pain in his arms, the headache that was a light throb and aching in his side. But all he could feel was numb. Numb to the panic that would usually course through him when he woke up somewhere strange. Numb to the fact that all the hard work that he and his thepis had done just went down the drain just from one  _ fucking phone call.  _

 

God he must look like a mess. Emil blinked and turned his head to the left where he could hear noise. He could see out into a hallway, a few doctors or nurses were out there, talking in low voices. He couldn’t make out what they were saying however he didn’t really care about that. No, what he did care about was the person in the chair next to his bed. 

 

It was his father, pale faced, dark shadows under his eyes and weary looking even in his sleep. It looked like he had just fell asleep, sitting up in the chair after a few sleepless nights. Emil knew what that felt like, staying up night after night. Still, Emil was pretty sure that that his father and him were up at night for different reasons. 

 

Moving from his father Emil looked around the room. There was a window to the right, and on the sil was a single bouquet of flowers. He didn’t know what kind of flowers they were, flowers were never something that had interested him, never something that he allowed himself be interested in. The flowers were beautiful though, light purple, pinks, whites, and blue, Emil couldn’t help but smile at them. 

 

Decided that he should at least sit up, laying down in a hospital always freaked him out, made him think of the time he was in here the first time. He slowly moved his arms around and slowly shifted until he was able to lift himself up. It hurt his arms, and when he finally looked at his arms he see white bandages wrapped around them. 

 

Now that he was sitting up properly he could see around the room better. There was another chair next to his father, and then another by the window.  No one was paying attention to his room, he supposed that was for the better at the moment. Emil wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, not at the moment at least. He was in a hospital gown, and he could feel the cold hospital air on his back.  

 

He looked to see if he could any clothes for him, but the only thing that in the room was the flowers and his father. Emil moved his legs to the side and hung then off the bed. Keeping an eye on his father and the door, he slowly let himself down on to the floor. He waits a moment, knowing that he might be a little unsteady from the times he was in the hospital back in Iceland. 

 

When he felt like he could walk without falling he makes his way the bathroom as quietly as he can. The bathroom is rather big, made for people in wheelchairs or lugging around IV’s and other hospital machines. Emil didn’t have any of those, in fact he had removed the IV that was in his arm before he started to get out of the bed. He probably shouldn’t have, he could have hurt himself he knew, but at the moment he couldn’t really care. 

 

Emil stayed in the bathroom for a while, wondering how long he has been in the hospital. His arms hurt, his entire body hurt in fact, but he ignored it for now. HE just wanted to be in a quiet place just for a moment. He does the techniques that his therapist had told him to whenever he felt that he was being overwhelmed or otherwise just needed to think. It helped him, helped him realize what he was feeling and thinking. 

 

By the time he was done he felt better, emotionally at least though how long that would las he didn’t know. Emil walked out of the bathroom, the room was empty now, no more father in the room and he knew that it wouldn’t be long till the doctor would be there. He made his way to the bed and sat on it, waiting with a bored look on his face.

 

Just like he thought the doctor came in, his father following him alike a lost puppy. The moment his father laid eyes on him they lit up and the older man rushed his way to him. Pushing past the doctor his father started to ask him questions, ask him if he felt okay, did he remember his name, knew where he was? It annoyed him and Emil was just about ready to tell him to shut up when the doctor interrupted them. 

 

Fifteen minutes later the doctor told him to not take his IV out again, not that Emil would listen to him, before leaving him alone with his father. It’s quiet for the most part, and as Emil looks everywhere but at his father he thinks. He feels his fathers eyes on him, silently asking him questions which he ignores. After a few minutes Emil asked how long he was out. 

 

“A few days, five to be exact. The doctor had to put you into a medically induced coma for the surgery or something like that. I was just glad that you were going to make it”

 

“Hmm.” Emil nodded and brought his knees up to his chest. He laid his head on them, looking out the window.  It was quiet again, Emil could tell that his father was moving around, but he didn’t see what he was doing, nor did he care at the moment.

 

Finally his father said something. “Emil, are you okay? I mean, well have you been happy here, with me and your brothers?”

 

Emil thinks about, thinks about how Mathias had warned him on his first night here about what father had planned to do. He thought about how Lukas hugged him good night and welcomed him home. He thought about how his father tried so hard to make him feel welcomed. Emil thinks past that, in school where he finds Vash and Lilly, and meets Alfred and Leon and Yong Soo and the others. 

 

Is he happy? Here where it is so different than Iceland? Here where he had people he can call friends, and knows its true? Emil closes his eyes and thinks, he can admit it to himself that the answer is yes. And though he doesn't want to talk at the moment he knows that his father needs an answer. So he nods and stays quiet, he can hear the sign that comes out of his father but without looking at him he doesn't know if it was one of relife.

 

“That's good. I’m glad that you don’t hate here at least.”

 

Again, the room turns silent and Emil can feel his father's eyes on hi, it makes him tense and weary. There was obviously more that his father wanted to talk about. He doesn’t want to talk, not at the moment but the universe is clearly not on his side as his father starts to talk more. 

 

“Emil,” his father pauses before continuing. “Emil, you mother called, the day that you ended up in the hospital. She said she called you a few days before?”

 

It’s asked like a question but Emil knew that it wasn’t. It couldn’t not with the way his father's tone had softened, sounding so sad that it made some part of him angry. What right did his father have fore being sad? If his mother had said that he thinks she said than his father had no right to feel sad. Still Emil didn’t say anything, ignoring the wa is eyes stung behind his eyelids. 

 

“She said that she talked to the doctor, that he said that you were in there multiple times on the account of overdosing and that you were eventually prescribed for some sort of antidepressants.”

 

Emil could feel the question in his father's eyes despite not looking at him. Shrugging as best as he could he muttered, “Why does it matter?”

 

"Wha-why does it matter? Emil your mother said that you were overdosing on purpose. That you tried to kill yourself. And then you lied about it.”

 

His father took a breath to calm himself or something before he continued.

 

“Emil, you told your mother that you went to anger management, not some rehab.”

 

Emil bit back a bitter laugh. “And why do you think I did, huh? Why do you think I looked my oh so wonderful mother and lied to her? Because I thought that she cared for me? That she would be there every step of the way and cared enough to belie me? Pull the other one old man.”

 

“Emil that's not what I meant.”

 

“Then what did you mean? You mean that i should have just not said anything? That I should have just tried to kill myself and hope that this time it stick?”

 

“No! No, I don’t want you to ever think that Emil. I-I meant why didn’t you tell her the first time you were in the hospital.”

 

Emil tensed even more, knowing what he meant even if his father was being vague. He didn’t want to talk about it, he really really didn’t, not yet, not while he was still in the hospital. So he does what he does best and ignores his father. It doesn’t work as well as he wished it would though, because his father's asks another question.

 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? Emil, we could have helped you.”

 

Emil barked a bitter laugh. “When.” He turns his head and his eyes glared daggered into his father, mocking confusion on his face. 

 

“When I was seven and you left with my brother and a kid that wasn’t me? When I was ten and told that I was a freak because I had no father? What about when I was fourteen and I finally stood up for myself?”

 

Emil shook his head in a frantic manner, trying stop the tears in his eyes that wanted to show. 

 

“When could I tell you? When I woke up to in the hospital and the police come? When they tell me that I was almost  **_raped_ ** **?** That it was only because there was a  **_god damn_ ** noise complaint that it didn’t happen?”

 

He finally looked up, all the hurt, rage, and despair displayed on his face. For the first time in along time he showed his father what he felt. Showed his how much he hated himself, how much it hurt to have been left behind all those years ago. 

 

“When was I supposed to tell  **_you_ ** ?” 

 

His voice lowered into a whisper. “When I wanted to die? When I was put in to the hospital for overdosing for the fifth time in two weeks. When someone finally asked why I was in the hospital so much? Or how about when I was finally getting help? When  **_someone_ ** , for  **_once_ ** in my life, cared to ask me if I was  **_okay_ ** , if I needed  **_help_ ** ?”

 

A broken sound escaped him and he brought up a hand to muffle anymore sounds. It probably only made him look more pathetic, but he couldn’t care. Not anymore, not when his father was standing there and trying to be a father for once in the past ten years. 

 

“You weren’t there. Not when I needed you most.” 

 

He heard footsteps walk towards him before he felt strong arms wrap around him. A part of him, the part that he tried so hard to hide and ignore, broke and he leaned into his fathers chest. He felt like a child, gripping his father's shirt and crying. 

 

His father held him close, bringing them down to the floor where his father rocked them back and forth in a soothing manner. A hand was rubbing his back and Emil could hear is father whispering him words of comfort. But it was background noise to him, white noise that lulled him into a peaceful state and then to sleep.


End file.
